Overrated:- Fallout 3


With all the merriness and festivities that came with Christmas and New Year, The Newb Review thought we’d commission Crofterz to stop the world from exploding (you can thank us later) by balancing it all out with some good old fashioned anger and misery. Join him as he takes us through the critically acclaimed wasteland of Fallout 3.

You may accuse me of cheaply bashing “Fallout 3” just to provoke reaction, enraging people into commenting and emailing in order to gain a few extra visitors to the site, and you know what? You’re right (well… partly).

I know how beloved Fallout 3 is to a lot of you gaming folk. It’s so beloved in fact that it has spawned multiple DLC packs and a Game of the Year edition of the game… But I just don’t get it.

You know how it feels when your friends are talking about the latest and coolest programme on TV, but when you sit down to watch it for yourself you wonder how anybody could possibly find it enjoyable? Well, that’s exactly how I feel about Fallout 3.

Combining both elements of a First Person Shooter and a Role Playing Game (a combination of which has more recently been used as the basis for Borderlands, although it was improved massively). Fallout 3 is a jack of all trades, master of none. Yes there is typical first person shooter gameplay in there, but it’s nowhere near as exciting or rewarding as something like a Call of Duty or Battlefield.

The VAT system (a slow motion system which pauses the game to queue up shots on the different body parts of your enemies) in particular is a shining example of what Fallout 3 is. It sounds exciting, interesting and refreshing, but ultimately it’s utterly disappointing. The system is fun to use at first, but the novelty quickly wears off and it starts to become more and more apparent that the it only breaks up the gameplay to make it feel less fluid.

The new percentage postage notes were going down a storm

The new percentage themed postage notes were going down a storm

Perhaps comparing it to the likes of Call of Duty or a Battlefield is absurd, considering the RPG elements are seemingly what makes the game great. But the RPG elements aren’t even work that well. I mean it’s not a Final Fantasy is it?

Yes the RPG elements work within the game, but they lack the depth and excitement of a true RPG. The story is anything but exciting (it’s mind numbingly boring) and lacks direction. I want a challenge, but when I have to wander around for hours (and I am being literal here) trying to find out where to go, that just isn’t fun. And yes OK, I don’t want a game that is going to hold my hand; but at least give me a sodding clue!

On the face of it the experience of wandering around aimlessly through a barren wasteland, struggling to survive, is perhaps what the developers are trying to give the player. What they failed to remember is that they also needed to make the game fun. It’s all just depressing, bleak and drab; much like the actual prospect of a world post nuclear fallout.

Now I think about it Fallout 3 might possibly be the most depressing experience I’ve ever had from a game (which is quite an achievement considering I’ve not only played but completed Assassin’s Creed 1 and Condemned 2; a game in which you play a drug adled, alcoholic, homeless, tramp, fighting to the death with other similarly gruesome tramps in order to get your next fix).

This lovely depressive feeling is also hammered home due to the fact that literally everything is trying to kill you! In Fallout 3 not only do you have to contend with the various enemies that attack you, you also have to cope with radioactivity, alcoholism and drug addiction. The very water you drink gives you radiation poisoning and the drugs you take to enhance your character become addictive. It’s all just one sadistic trail after another. I’ve heard of making a game hard but Fallout 3 really takes the biscuit.

I don’t know what version of Fallout 3 you fanboys have played but it certainly isn’t the same version I’ve played. Fallout 3 is almost totally devoid of fun. I can only assume that you guys like playing insanely difficult games (so hard they were used as tortures devices in Guantanamo Bay) that contain mediocre gameplay and a completely mundane story. Come to think of it, I don’t know whats worse, playing Fallout 3 or being subjected to Chinese water torture.

How can you have this much love for a game that a) offers you great gameplay mechanics such as making your own weapons from completely useless odds and sods (oooo! *puts on a cheesy smile*) and b) pretty much forces you to make your own fun; a part of games that I actually f*cking detest, unless it’s a Crackdown game.

How lazy can Bethesda get? Not only do you have to make your own weapons but you also have to make your own fun? What next? Make your own levels? How about you don’t get so caught up in the big hype machine surrounding Fallout 3 and make up your own minds?

What's next? Little Big Planet: Fallout 3 edition?

What's next? Little Big Planet: Fallout 3 edition?

Perhaps I’m being a little harsh, or perhaps I’m totally wrong and like I said, I simply don’t get it. What I do know is, I simply don’t care. but what is seriously making me grind my teeth (they are now just stumps of calcium) is all this “perfect game” nonsense that all you Fallout 3 cultists are spouting. So please stop.

Now if you’ll excuse me I must dash to seek safety in my own purpose built fallout shelter. Hopefully this will protect me from the inevitable onslaught of death threats and insults that are sure to come my way.

See you in another 10 years!

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Tue, January 12 2010 » Articles, Massively Overated Games..

18 Responses

  1. Mightyles January 12 2010 @ 10:55 am

    I would never ever ever EVER call Fallout 3 “the perfect game”, but I did enjoy playing it and all of the expansions. I didn’t really find the story boring, and I always knew where I was going thanks to the little map markers on the screen. I didn’t really have much difficulty with the actual missions either becuase I tailored my character to be strong and good with weapons. I wouldn’t say it was easy, but it certainly wasn’t that hard. I can totally see where you’re coming from about the game being overwhelming though.

    The problem with the game as I see it is that it’s a little clunky, especially if you’re playing from the 3rd person perspective. I also think they could have done a better job explaining what all the markers on your map actual mean. And some of the voice acting is pure AWFUL!

  2. tom01255 January 12 2010 @ 11:44 am

    I love this game but the third person perspective is broken as hell. If you strafe slightly as you walk he does some kind of weird forward moonwalk thing… Freaky.

    Also the DLC so far has been a pile of utter bilge. I’ve played Mothership Zeta and Operation Anchorage… Both complete let downs.

  3. Crofterz January 12 2010 @ 12:33 pm

    Agreed, the controls were a little bit broken too which is something i’d forgotten to mention in the article but I still thought the story was dull, boring and unexciting.

    See this is the trouble I have, everyone says they love this game but even you pointed out some fairly fundamental flaws.

    I just didn’t find it enjoyable to play in any way whatsoever.

  4. kamiza January 12 2010 @ 1:30 pm

    Can you not add to the bottom of your article – “but having said all that, I still suggest you buy it from the Newbreview Shop!”

  5. tom01255 January 12 2010 @ 1:39 pm

    I think bashing the game for 1000 words then trying to sell it through the site just adds to the comedy… Go buy it now!

  6. Crofterz January 12 2010 @ 2:08 pm

    Yes the little advert at the end made me chuckle :)

  7. kamiza January 12 2010 @ 2:34 pm

    im thinking about it. 21 squid for the GOTY edition sounds good. i am sure stephen fry would approve and endorse said product.

  8. Crofterz January 12 2010 @ 6:04 pm


  9. Mightyles January 12 2010 @ 7:51 pm

    Buying a cheap copy of the game of the year edition sounds like a good idea. But like Tom said, Operation Anchorage and Mothership (mothershit?) Zeta are a bit pants. Point Lookout and Broken Steel are really fun, and The Pitt is pretty good… So long as you like that sort of thing!

  10. Lavalampbamboo January 13 2010 @ 9:20 pm



    It’s not an FPS, you can’t compare it to COD at all.
    The reason it’s dreary is because it’s THE APOCALYPSE
    Everything is trying to kill and infect you is because it’s a SURVIVAL RPG
    Guncrafting is in loads of games. There’s only like six crafted weapons, and tons of other weapons to find.

    What about all the side-quests?
    What about the bobbleheads?
    What about the party members?
    What about the armour and gun degredation and repair?



  11. Crofterz January 13 2010 @ 11:46 pm

    Well…it sort’ve is an FPS because the only way to really play it is in first person and you shoot stuff. Yes the comparison to COD was stupid but I was rather pointing out the shooting mechanics are absolute balls.

    I also realize it’s depressing because its the apocalypse and a survival rpg but that doesn’t mean it didn’t have to mean fun. Left 4 Dead is about a zombie apocalypse but at least it’s fun to play

    Side quests are about as boring as the main quests, bobbleheads, party members and armour and gun degredation? *yawn*

    Sorry Ed but Fallout 3 just plain sucks.

  12. Crofterz January 14 2010 @ 10:29 am

    Also Ed you don’t like Mass Effect which renders your views invalid and lacking in the respect department.

  13. Crofterz January 14 2010 @ 3:34 pm

    P.S. Love you really Ed ;)

  14. Lavalampbamboo January 15 2010 @ 3:02 pm

    But, but, but… I like Mass Effect o.O

  15. vVv Diesel January 15 2010 @ 9:54 pm

    I totally agree, this is definitely an over hyped piece of trash on the console but the PC version is a very involving game.

  16. Silverspade92 March 15 2011 @ 6:05 am

    You use comic sans. Your argument is invalid.

  17. Crofterz March 15 2011 @ 8:26 am

    The previous comment lacks constructive elements. Therefore, argument is invalid.

  18. Mightyles March 15 2011 @ 9:06 am

    what font would you have preferred? Times new roman? Windings? What is the one font that renders all arguments undebateable (just so I know which one to use when I next write to head office requesting a pay rise)

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