This week our regular band of misfits, Tom, Adam and Kieran, are joined by site writer and twitter superstar Mr Campfire Burning.

With Campfire bringing some much needed knowledge of gaming, the guys run down the top releases of the week, Adam updates us on his attempts to woo the ladies and we talk a bit about the next generation of consoles.

Also find out how to win a bunch of Dead Space 2 goodies from our good friends over at EA!

MP3 Download / iTunes / RSS Feed

Do you think you can kill Lynch, the balding self medicated psychopath? Check out the latest trailer for Kane and Lynch 2: Dog Days and get back to us on what you think your chances are.

You may remember we went hands on with the game a short while ago and we really liked what we saw.  With a brilliant hand held camera visual style, smooth controls, and plenty of multiplayer madness Kane and Lynch 2: Dog Days looks to be one of the gaming highlights of the year.

There is currently a demo available for download on Xbox Live, Playstation Network, and on PC. Do yourself a favour and download it.

Kane and Lynch 2: Dog Days will be available for Xbox 360, Playstation 3, and PC on 20th August.

- Luke Mears

In this inaugural edition of Speaking With…, Luke Mears contacted Klei Entertainment to talk about their soon to be released game, Shank. Shank is a downloadable game that will be available on both Xbox Live and Playstation Network at the end of August. It features a fantastically unique visual style, over the top blood and violence, two player co-op, and a script by Marianne Krawczyk, the writer of the first God of War.

Jamie Cheng, Co-founder of Klei Entertainment, kindly took the time out of his day to respond to our queries and we present the text from our interview below.

What led to the formation of Klei Entertainment?
We had been working on a hobby project, Eets, for several years, and it finally seemed to be getting to the point where we could show fellow developers and friends. The feedback was great. Overall, people really enjoyed our work which worked out perfectly because at the time I was at a cross-road for where I wanted to take my career next — I had been working as an AI programmer at Relic Entertainment for a few years by then.

So, with nothing really to lose except the few bucks I saved during my tenure, I started Klei in a rented basement with a couple friends. That was five years ago.

How many people work with you in Klei Entertainment?
We’ve grown to about 15 full-time developers in the studio – and they’re the reason I enjoy going to work every day.

Some of our readers may not be aware of this, but you operate out of Vancouver, British Columbia. How vital to your company’s survival are the Canadian Government’s tax breaks for game developers?
There are a lot of factors involved when keeping an indie studio going. Even things like the USD/CAD exchange rate can make a huge difference, since our biggest market is in the US.

In terms of tax breaks, they’ve been immensely helpful, especially in our earlier years. Telefilm was instrumental in getting Eets out the door, and they again helped during the development of N+. Does that mean we’d have gone out of business if we weren’t in Canada? I don’t know, but I do know that we’ve been both very lucky and very resourceful.

Shank has a wonderful visual style

One attraction to working in a small development company is that you have control to make the kind of games that you want. Have you found this to be the case or have you had to make some compromises?
We’ve retained the most important thing to us, and that’s being able to choose projects that we really believe in as well as keep the creative control. It’s actually been quite a hard road to follow, and there have been a few close calls, but everyday we’re glad that we’ve been adamant on that. Why else would you start your own studio if you can’t work on the projects you love?

With the release of Shank you are teaming up with Electronic Arts as an EA Partner, can you explain to our readers what this means, and why it is that you decided to sign up with Electronic Arts?
EA Partners is a division of EA that works specifically with third party developers to publish and help them distribute their titles. We chose to work with them because they trusted our vision for the game, and allowed us to make the decisions we needed without compromise. They’ve also been hugely helpful in distribution — I don’t believe we’d be on both the PSN and XBLA without them, and that’s ultimately a better deal for the players.

Another game you have in development is Sugar Rush. Can you tell us a little about the game, and when we can expect it to be coming out?
That title was dropped by our then-publisher back in early 2009, and although we own the IP, we’ve pretty much been focused on Shank since then.

Shank is gloriously violent

I personally admire Bioware and Valve, for their unwavering commitment to quality – and especially Valve for their independent spirit and policy toward developers.

One of the first things that struck me when first seeing Shank for the first time was its unique visual style. What inspired the art design? I know the creative team is lead by Jeffrey Agala, who worked with Disney and is an accomplished animator, but Shank is incredibly violent, and about as far away from Disney as you can get.
Jeff always mentions Graphic Novels and Golden Age comics as his main artistic influences. When you look at it from that angle, the violence makes a lot more sense

Hiring Marianne Krawczyk, writer of God of War, to write the game’s story shows a clear dedication to the narrative, which is fairly uncommon in most downloadable titles. What does Marianne bring to the table that made you want to work with her?
Story seems to be a mostly unloved aspect of downloadable titles — we wanted Shank to push boundaries of what is possible in a $15 title, so we paid a lot of attention to the story from the beginning. Marianne and I had both lamented previously that we wanted to work on a project where we could be completely creatively free, and Shank fit the bill nicely. Once Marianne started working with us early in the project, the depth of our characters immediately jumped a few notches and suddenly the entire narrative felt more grounded.

The co-op game fills in the back story to the main game.

What made you decide to make a separate story for the co-op mode, when most people probably would have been satisfied with simply being able to play the single player mode with their friends?
We did struggle with this one for quite some time. We recently wrote an article on the Playstation Blog about this exact thing. In the end, I think having a separate campaign that focuses on the co-op play, and being to make the experience deeper because of it, was the right call.

A great feature of the game is local multiplayer, which so many developers tend to leave out in this day and age; however the game features no online multiplayer. Why is that?
It was already such a huge undertaking to create two separate campaigns for Shank, and adding online would’ve ultimately hurt the rest of our game, as we’d have to dedicate a huge amount of time to that feature instead of the overall experience of the game. We decided that it was more important to polish the experience than to add an additional feature, and I hope players understand that decision.

One of the more controversial subjects in console based gaming at the moment is Sony and Microsoft’s push towards motion controls. What do you make of Sony’s Move and Microsoft’s Kinect? Do you anticipate making any games that support these devices in the future?
From a technological point of view, these controls are pretty awesome. I was able to get a really good look at the specs for Kinect, specifically, and once you understand how it really works you can certainly think up some pretty fun uses for it. But practically speaking, I have no real opinions on how well they’ll do, and internally, we haven’t made plans to build games supporting these devices.

Now that the release of Shank is almost upon us, how long until you start working on your next project?
We’re always tinkering with projects that we’re interested in, and we’re definitely working on improving the engine that built Shank. Right now we’re also working to get the PC version of Shank out the door.

The co-op action looks suitibly challenging

Without being too specific, how many ideas do you have kicking around for your next project(s)?
We have a ton of ideas, but only limited bandwidth to make them happen. We’ve got maybe 2 or 3 ideas floating around that sound really fun, and a few of us are working on prototyping some mechanics.

Looking to the future, do you see yourselves making the jump from creating downloadable titles to boxed retail games?
Honestly, I’m not sure. We’ve tried very hard to be platform agnostic, and instead focus on the game first. If it turns out that it warrants a retail scale, then it might happen, but in the meantime I’ve been really enjoying the freedom that the smaller scale has afforded us.

And finally, if you had to persuade me to buy Shank in a single sentence, how would you do so?
Shank: the only game that let’s you stuff a grenade down your enemy’s mouth.

Sold! Jamie, thank you for your time.

If you enjoyed this interview, have questions, or want more info about the game then please check out the official site at www.shankgame.com as well as the official facebook page.

Shank will be available to download on Playstation Network on the 24th August, Xbox LIVE on the 25th August,  and on PC later this year.

Stay tuned to The Newb Review for our review of the full game later this month, and future Speaking With… articles.

- Luke Mears

While video game adaptations of prime time television quiz shows have been around for almost as long as video gaming itself, it was the way 1 vs 100 presented itself that marked it apart from a sea of similar titles. Taking its cues from Sony’s popular Buzz games, 1 vs 100 turned a television quiz show into a social experience.

Unlike Buzz, it didn’t just allow friends and families to play together in a single living room; it opened the game up to the entire country – even the whole continent – and went against popular thinking that video games are there to fill up the player’s spare time by requiring participants to sit at their Xbox 360 at a set time on a set night.

The odds of this surviving are a hundred to - oh.

Like a television programme, it followed a strict broadcast schedule. Indeed, with the increasing interactivity of TV quizzes; with phone-in questions, websites and red button functionality, 1 vs 100 seemed like the joint future of television and gaming; where the two had been spliced together into something more than just the sum of its parts. Winners took home prizes – not just Microsoft points and XBLA game codes, but expensive home electronics and holidays. The show even had a live presenter commentating on the events of each of the weekly ‘prime time’ episodes to give it an authentic TV quiz show feel. The only real difference between the 1 vs 100 on the National Lottery show and 1 vs 100 on your Xbox was that, unlike the BBC show, you could join in and win.

So what went wrong? Why was 1 vs 100 killed while its particular brand of hybrid entertainment was still in its nascence? With Kinect taking up so much of Microsoft’s focus, maybe it didn’t have the money to keep funding the show. Maybe participation figures weren’t great, or reliant upon a shrinking base of hardcore week-in, week-out quiz fanatics. Or maybe at the moment the kind of audience that would have been perfect for 1 vs 100 isn’t the kind of audience that would buy a video games console on which to play it.

We don't pump our gas, we pump our fists.

Consider this: experts talk about social gaming, about Zynga and Farmville, and how iPhones and Facebook will get people who currently have no interest in games playing with the rest of us. Right now these non-gaming gamers spend real money on virtual crop seed and worship the latest apps in the Apple app store. They spend the kind of money gamers would reserve for games consoles on mobile phones; mobile phones able to play games, mobile phones that are so flexible and functional, they’re starting to make the traditional games console look antiquated. They’re also the kind of people who make daily or weekly appointments to watch Eastenders, Doctor Who, The X-Factor and yes, the National Lottery. And when 1 vs 100 – or A Question of Sport, or The Weakest Link – comes on, they yell their answers at the screen and laugh when they get them wrong, celebrate when they get them right.

Only time will tell whether 1 vs 100 was ahead of the curve or not. Judging by the Mob, I’d say it was.

– Campfire Burning

Your tolerance for Naughty Bear is likely to extend exactly as far as your amusement at the prospect of chasing cuddly-wuddly widdle bears around a candy-coloured village and beating their stupid bear faces in with a baseball bat while all the other bears run around sobbing and howling in grief and horror.

On a mechanical and artistic level, Naughty Bear is content to stop at merely functional, or sometimes not even that. Naughty himself is a fairly graceless object, lumbering around the levels with the arcing speed and nimble elegance of a bath mounted on rollerskates, and the camera hovers awkwardly as if trying to remember why it came here in the first place. Though the unwary may be tempted to view Naughty Bear as an action game, it is really nothing of the sort; instead being a sort of puzzle-game constructed around the simple core mechanic of spreading fear and distress.

Every antisocial action performed will earn you points, and successive actions will build up a score multiplier. By chaining together “naughty” actions both small (smashing a picnic table) and large (disemboweling a weeping bear with a machete) you try to build up as many points as possible before killing the bears living in each area. The longer you keep them alive and suffering, the more points you acquire. Eventually a bear will snap under the strain and go insane. At this point they will begin to wander aimlessly around, staring into space and babbling to himself. He’ll be lost in a lonely dream world where he’s happy and everything is all right and he’s not about to get his head staved in by a psychotic pervert teddy bear on a torture-rampage. Frighten an insane bear one more time and he will commit suicide.

The repetitive nature of these screenshots should give you some idea of the limited range of the game itself

The game therefore comes down to a balancing act between keeping the bears alive and in terror and keeping the multiplier as high as possible. Each of these levels can then be replayed under challenge mode conditions, which include having to drive all bears insane, or complete the level without using a weapon. There is a certain, limited, pleasure to this in short bursts. There’s also some moderately amusing touches to be discovered, but it fails to compel at any length, especially given the limited variety of weapons and environments involved (the box cover threatens us with further downloadable content).

The repetitive nature of these screenshots should give you some idea of the limited range of the game itself

Additional multiplayer modes are included; seemingly more out of a sense of obligation than anything else. But in their necessary shifting of emphasis onto the game’s creaky combat mechanics, they undermine the only particularly appealing aspect of the whole package. Modes like Cakewalk (carry a delicious cake to the goal while under assault from a rival team) and Golden Oozy (one bear has a devastating submachine gun and must fend off hordes of attackers) all-too-quickly devolve into a frenzied bundle of running round in random circles desperately jabbing the attack button in the hope of killing something.

The whole lacklustre business of attempting to compete against other people vigorously underlines one stark, simple fact: Naughty Bear is a game constructed around a single joke, and it’s not one that bears much repetition. In its best moments it manages to be faintly reminiscent of Rockstar’s tremendous, grubby, killsploitation title Manhunt, but without that game’s mechanical delicacy, pervasive sense of dread or wry satirical bite. As Manhunt showed, there’s nothing essentially wrong with being a one-trick pony, but it had better be a pretty great trick.

Review Round-Up

Graphics 2/5 – Adequate to the task, but lacking in any real flourish or vision in its art design.

Sound 3/5 – Sound effects are uninteresting and music unmemorable. The children’s television-style narrator is faintly amusing (I enjoyed his cry of “You nutter!” upon earning a platinum medal) and wisely not over-used.

Story 1/5 – No, not really.

Gameplay 2/5 – Repetitive and unimaginative with a turgid camera and clumsy main character, yet somehow oddly compelling in short bursts. Some of the death animations are amusing the first time you see them. Online multiplayer is, of course, arbitrarily included, but it’s rubbish. Mention must also be made of the fact that the game in its current form suffers from frequent game-crashing glitches that should shame whoever was supposed to be responsible for QA.

Longevity 2 /5 - Little incentive to carry on with it beyond manic completion-ism or achievement hunting. After the first level, you’ve effectively seen everything this has to offer.

[starreview tpl=16]

Overall 2 Ruined Parties out of 5 – You know how magistrates and tabloid columnists talk about videogames as morally-reprehensible murder simulators? They were dead wrong until this came out. It is, however, too clumsily implemented and frankly too boring to be described as any kind of moral menace. It achieves a borderline competence as a score-attack game, but you’re frankly better off with the sublime Manhunt or even Swordfish studios’ underrated The Club, both of which pull off the dystopian spree-killer genre with the kind of grisly panache that this clumsy effort probably couldn’t even spell.

- Elliot Mears

Nearly a month later and the new Xbox is finally available in the UK. Now that we’ve had some time to test it out, we feel we can answer the all important question: Should you buy the New Xbox?

To provide the short answer: Yes, especially if you do not already own one. The most striking thing about the New Xbox (whatever you do, don’t call it slim!) is just how sleek it looks. While the console is slightly thinner, the main difference is the console’s height. When standing next to the original Xbox the New Xbox looks more like it’s little brother than a slim counterpart.

As well as being smaller, the console has a slick glossy finish that is incredibly prone to collecting fingerprints. Not that it matters because even when covered with smeared fingerprints, it looks really nice. The console no longer has buttons per say, instead the disk eject and power on buttons are touch sensitive pads, which makes the console feel more futuristic. Gone are the old heavy clunk sounds that the disk drive would make; the New Xbox makes a quiet beep when turning on the console and when opening and closing the disk tray.

The new Xbox looks like a cross between a Xbox 360 and the original PS3

With numerous open vents on the side, the top, and the bottom of the console you can actually peek inside and see the inner workings of the machine, much like one of those peculiar looking gaming PCs. This has been done to help combat the console’s issue with heat; the primary cause of the dreaded Red Ring of Death. It’s too early to tell if this will prevent the Red Ring, but Microsoft seem fairly confident that they’ve put that defect to bed.

The main body itself has a strange distorted look, as if it were folding slightly inwards around the middle. It is an interesting design choice, although I am not sure what the thinking was behind it. In some ways it looks as if the original PS3 and the Xbox 360 got together and had a baby. It’s the stuff of nightmares for some of the more hardcore fans trolling around on numerous forums out there, but to someone that likes to think they’re platform neutral it looks pretty neat.

Step Brothers?

In terms of performance, much has been said of the console’s “whisper quiet” performance. I’m so used to the jet engine sound of the original Xbox that I didn’t even realise that I had switched it on the first time I plugged it in. When running games the console produces more of a high pitched, but quiet, hum as opposed to the deep roar of the previous models.

As someone that had filled over 70gb on my Xbox Elite’s 120gb hard drive, having the new 250gb hard drive is a welcome move. Unfortunately for those of us that already have Xbox, the old model’s hard drives are utterly incompatible with this new model. The new physically smaller hard drives are located inside, under a hidden slide on the bottom of the console. The hard drive is very easily removable which means that, should they release a new larger capacity hard drive, it should be easy to swap them around.

The tiny new hard drive is hidden away at the bottom behind a hidden grill.

If you have an old Xbox and want to transfer over your saved data, profiles, and downloadable content, currently there are two ways to transfer data to the new hard drive. Firstly you can copy it over using memory sticks, however you can only transfer a maximum of 16bg at a time. The second option, which costs about £15, is to order a transfer cable directly from Microsoft. Simply attach one end of the transfer cable to your old hard drive, and plug the other end into the back of your new Xbox, and it will automatically move everything over for you.

However, some downloaded content will need you to transfer your digital rights (the little bit of data that acts as an anti piracy measure, confirming that you purchased your downloaded games/add-ons legitimately) through xbox.com. The only reason you would need to do this is if you wanted to access your downloaded content when you are offline, as being connected to Xbox Live confirms your identity. While it is a relatively painless process, if you are someone like me that downloads a lot of games and add-ons then transfering the digital rights will take a long time.

The new Xbox has ventilation grill where there used to be a hard drive.

Since the Xbox was updated to allow up to 16gb of external memory to be attached through the USB ports, the new Xbox features two extra USB ports, bringing the total number up to 5. The Xbox memory card slots have been sacrificed to accommodate this, but frankly when was the last time anyone used a memory card for their Xbox? I have one of the original memory cards that featured a puny 58Mb memory, and these days it is pretty much useless.

The controller that comes bundled in the box has also had a slight make over. The guide button is now reflective and the base of the pad is made out of a similarly reflective and glossy plastic. The directional pad on the controller feels as if it has been reworked slightly to make it a bit more sturdy.

Can you spot the difference between the old controller and the new controller?

As well as looking better, the new Xbox is better for the environment thanks to the drastic reduction in the size of the power brick, with a substantial reduction in power consumption. According to online research, the new Xbox takes 80 watts to run while playing a game, and the older Xboxes need between 150 and 180 watts to perform the same action.

A lot of people will be comparing this new Xbox to Sony’s Slim PS3. Physically they are of a similar size, although the Xbox is certainly chunkier. The reasons behind the redesign are also silghtly different simply because Sony’s redesign of the PS3 was more of a financial necessity. Before the Slim was launched, each PS3 sold actually cost Sony money. Following a redesign, which arguably is made out of cheaper materials and cut out features, Sony has finally been able to start turning a profit on their consoles and their sales have shown steady improvement. You could argue that Microsoft’s redesign has been done to counter claims that the Xbox 360 is dated technology, especially when compared to the PS3, and to boost lagging sales.

It is futile to compare the two... But I'm doing it anyway!

There is however one major difference between the two console’s redesigns. While Sony’s Slim console took away features, Microsoft’s new Xbox has added features; touch sensitive pads instead of buttons, built in wi-fi, a larger hard drive, and a socket that is ready for the motion sensing camera Kinect. Sure Kinect will work with older Xboxes, but it will need a separate power supply to get it running. Not so with the new Xbox. Simply plug it in at the back and it will be ready to go.

If I sound like I’m gushing it’s because I genuinely like this console. It has a stylishly sleek look and has tweaked tech that solves some of the original 360′s issues; namely lack of built in wifi and the Red Ring. At £200, it is a reasonable asking price particularly if you currently do not own an Xbox. People that already have an Xbox probably won’t need to upgrade unless they like the idea of a sleeker looking console that uses less electricity, makes less noise, and is potentially more reliable.

Review Round-Up

I’m actually going to skip over awarding this console a score simply because only time will tell if this new console is more reliable than its predecessors, and the fact that the score would vary depending on whether you owned a 360 already or not. Instead, let’s look at a summary of the good and bad points:

Pros:

The console’s new angular, glossy look is very stylish.
Massive 250gb hard drive will take a long time to fill up (unless you install all your games).
Built-in Wi-fi.
Seemingly improved controller.
Consumes less electricity and is better for the environment. Hooray!
Kinect ready (if that floats your boat).

Cons:

The glossy console is a finger print and dust magnet!
Those looking to upgrade from an old Xbox to the new one will have to buy a separate transfer cable from Microsoft. Which is a pain!
Transferring over digital rights is a bit of a chore, but this only applies to those that previously had an Xbox and want to transfer over their downloadable content.

Summary:

Should you buy the new Xbox 360? It gets my recommendation especially if you do not currently own a Xbox. Those looking to upgrade from their existing Xbox may want to consider it more carefully in light of the hassle of transferring downloaded items.

- Luke Mears

Photo Gallery

The new hard drives are tiny!

On the left, the updated controller, and the right the old controller.

The original power brick on the left, and the new power brick on the right.

The new Xbox consumes much less power than older models.

They may very well have the same father...

Whatever you do don't call it The Xbox Slim!

A closer look at the new ports

Stay tuned to The Newb Review for our review of the new Xbox 360, coming soon!

They say the first step in dealing with an addiction is to admit you have one. Well, I do, and chances are if you’re reading this then you have one too.

It’s not an addiction to video games. This isn’t going to be yet another article on the insidious nature of gaming; how it can crawl under a young person’s skin and coil itself about his or her cerebral cortex, compelling them into a never-ending loop of action and reward. I’m not going to talk about the days I’ve lost to Oblivion or the months some people spend in a drooling stupor in front of World of Warcraft. If I told you actually playing games has little to do with our addiction you might wonder if I was talking about (whisper its name, lest it appear) Farmville. Surely that must be the addiction so vile, so shameful I dare not mention it directly until the third paragraph.

But the third paragraph has been and gone, and our shared addiction has not yet been given a name.

All the same, you are reading, and you’re reading because you’re addicted. You’re addicted to the periphery of gaming, the features, the podcasts, the top ten lists and trailers, the reviews and previews, websites and forums, and everything in between.

Far worse than being addicted to video games, you’re addicted to reading about them.

The need to read and discuss video games is deep-seated, something that took root before we gamers were given the tools necessary for it to become a full-blown addiction. Remember going to school in the hopes that someone – anyone – would have a copy of your gaming magazine of choice? Your Sinclair, perhaps, or C&VG. The proto-addicts would stand in a horseshoe around the owner of the sacred text; he’d turn each page slowly and everyone, regardless of their background, regardless of their standing in the social strata of the playground, would watch intently.

They would scour it for information, gazing upon every screenshot and luxuriating in the colours, the pixels. Certain pages; perhaps regarding the home conversion of a beloved arcade classic, would be almost torn to ragged pieces as a mucky thumb with a broken nail descended from the heavens to hold it open, preventing the magazine’s owner from turning the page.

A breaking voice that sounded like a castrato singing death metal would call out “Hang on, I haven’t finished reading” and we’d wait for the slow reader to catch up, not because we were scared he’d kick our shins and steal our lunch money, but because before gaming news, we were all equal. Even the kids on the other sides of that year’s current gaming war; the Commodore to our Spectrum, the Atari to our Amiga, would lurk somewhere in the background, muttering that each game ‘looked shit’ on our chosen platform but *needing* that news whether it was relevant to them or not.

Video games circa 1980.

And once the news, columns, cheats and tips had been devoured, we made up our own. Of course you could complete Green Hill Zone 1 in three seconds, if you hammered the right button on the D-pad fast enough. Of course you could make Lara Croft strip off and play with her girl parts by loading Jumping Flash into the Playstation first, then replacing it with Tomb Raider while the disc was still spinning. Of course Mario and Dizzy’s Egg-citing Adventures is out soon. It’s out in Japan already on the Nintendo 128. I know because my friend’s uncle works for Sega and he has one, and he lets me go on it (but you can’t because he’s not supposed to let anyone see it). Swearsies.

The arrival of the Internet has made things so much worse. Magazines, as useful as they were, brought news to us lesser beings only once a month. With the Internet, we don’t have to wait. As soon as gaming news breaks, it’s everywhere. Which wouldn’t be a problem if it wasn’t for the paranoia-inducing suggestion that follows right on its tail: news can break at any time.

This is where the addiction begins. Feverishly refreshing major gaming websites. Having Twitter constantly streaming to your desktop, your Blackberry, your iPad and iPhone, to your central nervous system if only you could stick a line in there. At any second of any hour someone could leak a blurry image of a game running on the Nintendo’s new  handheld console. My fingertips are shaking just thinking about it. It makes it difficult to type, but man, imagine! It’s some kind of 3D thing, only you don’t need glasses in order to view the 3D images because it works by magic. Magic!. My palms are sweating. Aren’t yours?

The 3DS: It's made by goblins and is powered by two small stones with holes in them.

That’s the next step: the discussion. Whether it’s on  Twitter, comment threads on those gaming news sites or on dedicated gaming forums, being able to find out what the entire world thinks of the latest gaming news is what makes the addiction a plague upon productivity. You’re no longer just absorbing information; now you’re sharing it. Dirty data. Filthy feedback. You’re talking to complete strangers about the latest trailers and you’re deciding whether a game is good or not before any of you have ever played it. Your lips are curling. Your pupils are dilating. You’re getting your fix.

I’m a wordy MF. I write at length, and this is a sin on the Internet, where your next info fix is but a click away. During the course of this article you’ve probably clicked away a few times in search of the latest gaming news. You hopped over to Gametrailers to see the latest release of gameplay footage (and oh, how distant those tiny Your Sinclair screenshots seem now) or over to GameFAQs, to find the solution to the last dungeon in The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks. Maybe you checked your Twitter feed to see what your Internet mates think of Microsoft’s newly-Christened ‘Kinect’. You clicked on one of those tabs you have open in your web browser to see what’s going on in the grand world of video games. Then you came back here to finish reading the article.

And the one thing you didn’t do is interrupt your reading to actually play a video game. Because this is the problem with the addiction you and I share. It doesn’t turn our memories to sponge, or make us jump out the window believing we’re magical flying unicorns. It eats our game time.

"We'd rather be playing Robot Unicorn Attack."

It’s a terrible irony that all those hours you spend on RLLMUK, IGN or this very website you could have spent indulging the hobby you claim to love so very much. I feel that same painful emptiness, the space inside where gaming news flits and flaps, that should be crammed full, not of news, but gaming. Sheer, wondrous gaming. The delight of venturing into new lands, the ecstasy of toppling a long-standing high score. Being a villain. Being a hero. Reliving the nostalgia of youth. Looking forward to the future. And playing, playing, playing.

Instead I’m typing, and you’re reading.

Sometimes the addiction becomes too much. This week, as I’m sure you’ll have noticed we have E3 as our supplier, doling info and leaks and trailers and demos out to our usual dealer websites like some sharply-dressed narcotics barren; friendly and welcoming as he wanders through his plantation, but snarling and bloodthirsty should anyone dare cross him. The simplest thing to do would be to say “No gaming news for me today thank you”, but dare you do such a thing?

In this time of excitement and upheaval, with Sony and Microsoft seeking to ape the success of the Wii with their own peripherals, and Nintendo seeking to further their reach across the planet’s gaming audience with the 3DS… What if you miss something? It doesn’t matter. It’s unimportant. The future of your life will not turn upon a fragment of gaming news, nor an opinion from the Internet. But my God, what if Half-Life 3 is unveiled, what if The Elder Scrolls 5 is announced, what if you miss something?

Don't wanna close my eyes, don't wanna fall asleep cause I miss you, baby.

Some people would say that the ever-expanding reach of Twitter and it’s fellow Web 2.0 social communication tools are turning everyone into news junkies. The human race wants to hear the latest news tidbits and discuss them at length, and then blog about the whole affair. This can be a good thing. People can join hands across the globe and share their pains and their triumphs. Together they can rise up and right injustices (or at least, show their support for such actions with a hashtag or Twibbon).

But we were there first and the world we live in, with its shiny websites and beep-boop computers, is and always has been our domain. This is our addiction, wrought large and terrible, both in fervent discussions about just what can be done about the BP oil spill crisis and the thousands of Justin Bieber fans sobbing and swooning over him the Internet over.

So much conversation. So much inaction.

And somewhere in the centre of it, surrounded by towering stacks of unfinished games, we sit and hit F5… waiting for Microsoft’s E3 conference to begin.

I am an addict. And so are you.

Game:

In the wild days of 2007, a little game named Crackdown was released on Xbox 360. This open world third person action game cast you in the role of a genetically enhanced super cop, out to clean the mean streets of Pacific City. Developed by Realtime Worlds, founded by the creator of Grand Theft Auto; Dave Jones, the game was padded up with exclusive access to the downloadable Halo 3 Multiplayer Beta, which boosted sales considerably.

Unfortunately some people only bought the game for the aforementioned Beta access and didn’t even bother playing the game itself. I say that it’s unfortunate because the original Crackdown was a real gem that deserved more respect than it got. At E3 2009 Microsoft made the surprise announcement that a Crackdown sequel was coming, made by a different team and without any Halo Beta to prop it up.

First, to set the scene. As part of an elite police force, The Agency, you take the role of a genetically enhanced super cop out to clean up the streets once more. Ten years have passed since the events of the first Crackdown; after clearing out the three major gangs, the Agency accidentally exposed the city to a virus that mutates the majority of the population into monsters known as The Freaks.

A number of the more rebellious citizens have banded together to form an anti-government gang called The Cell. The Cell, armed with military weapons, defend the streets during the day while the Freaks swarm the streets at night, attacking both The Agency and The Cell. Your mission is to defeat The Cell, destroy The Freaks, and bring the city back under Agency control.

In order to retake control of the city you must achieve two objectives; firstly you must take down Cell’s strongholds, which is achieved by storming in and killing everyone in the surrounding area then summoning a helicopter to secure the area; secondly you must activate generators, which are usually near Cell strongholds, in order to power Ultra violet light bombs that need to be detonated inside of Freak nests below the city. In both instances you generally have to stand your ground against increasingly stronger waves of enemies.

To complete the main campaign you need to detonate 9 UV Bombs that are spread out over the three main islands that make up Pacific City. While clearing out all 27 Cell strongholds is not required, it does make activating the generators that power the bombs a whole lot easier. Some may criticise the game for being too repetitive, but I genuinely feel that they are missing the point. The story and the missions are not important in this game – the whole point of Crackdown 2 is to become a super powered bully and trample those that get in your way.

While you have a licence to kill criminals, the Agency frowns on the murder of innocent civilians. If you should kill an excessive amount of civilians then the Agency will turn on you for a short while, or at least until they kill you. Accidentally killing civilians is an issue that existed with the first game, particularly when you became more powerful and unlocked more abilities.

Each agent has five key skills that will upgrade as you progress through the game; Agility, Strength, Shooting, Explosive, and Driving. As you level up your appearance changes; more powered up characters become larger and more muscular, with more threatening looking armour. All of these skills, apart from agility, can be increased simply by performing their corresponding action – so for instance, killing an enemy by shooting them will boost your shooting experience, while punching them to death will boost your strength. In order to boost your agility skill, which determines how high you jump and how fast you can run, you need to collect glowing green orbs that are located all around the city.

Orb collection was a key gameplay component in the original Crackdown, and it returns bigger and better than before. As well as the 500 green agility orbs, and 300 blue hidden orbs, there are 15 purple driving orbs that you have to chase down in your car, and 30 renegade agility orbs that run away from you. The 500 green orbs are pretty much all in plain sight, but most of them are out of your reach and can only be collected periodically once you level up.

Each skill technically has six levels to fill up, although you stop unlocking new abilities once you reach the fifth level. When you level up you unlock new abilities and weapons, each more deadlier than the last. Of special note is the glide suit, which is unlocked at reaching level 5 agility, that allows you to glide when jumping from great heights. Although the controls are poorly explained, after some practice it is easy enough to pick up.

As someone that spent a lot of time playing the first Crackdown, the sequel feels very familiar. On the most superficial level the game takes place in the same city with only a few minor aesthetic changes, such as demolished buildings that had once been gang strongholds. Obviously this makes complete sense when you consider the story, but it may give some people the feeling that this is little more than Crackdown 1.5 rather than a full blown sequel.

This feeling of familiarity is compounded by the fact that the way in which you progress through the game, namely the collection of orbs and killing wave after wave of nameless foes, is exactly the same. Not that there is anything wrong with that, because the orb hunting in Crackdown was brilliant fun; it was genuinely rewarding to level up and increase the outlandish stunts you would be able to perform, and the prospect of getting bigger, faster, and stronger was all the incentive I ever needed.

In terms of story, the sequel has a more detailed story than the original, although that really is not saying much. Events are fleshed out in 52 collectible audio diaries that are located around the city, and the game actually features an opening cut scene, and ending cut scene. The original Crackdown actually had no story whatsoever beyond ‘the streets are in control of the gangs, go take them out agent!’; rather than having a set in stone story, the gameplay experience was more fluid; after being given a list of targets, it was up to you to decide who to take out first.

Each gang lieutenant was responsible for certain aspects of their own gang, be it recruitment, combat training, or vehicles. By killing a lieutenant you would remove that ability from the gang, thusly weakening the gang as well as boosting your own skills, until you were in a position to take out the head of the gang. It was a great feature in the original, a real innovation, but unfortunately it does not return in the sequel.

While you can choose to take our your targets, and detonate your bombs, in any order you please, the enemies you face in the locations furthest from your starting point are so difficult – often armed with homing missile launchers that obliterate you in seconds – that you will need to level up a great deal before even thinking about taking them on.

As well as the orbs, audio diaries, Cell strongholds, and UV bombs, there are a number of side missions to occupy your time. Road races and rooftop races (the former taking place on the streets in cars while the latter takes place on foot) return along with Freak Breaches and sky diving missions. Freak Breaches, as the name suggests, has an army of Freaks breaking through the surface for you to fight off until back up turns up to bomb the hell out of them. Sky diving missions can be a little frustrating, if only because the controls are very sensitive, but offer up huge agility experience as a reward for completing them.

As fun as playing the game solo is, the best bit about Crackdown 2 is the drop in/drop out 4 player online mutliplayer. Players can choose to work together to take out The Cell and The Freaks, collect orbs (including mutliplayer orbs that are only available online), race, or simply raise hell around the city. In a slightly disappointing move, if you join another player’s game and capture a stronghold, that stronghold will only be marked as captured in the host’s game.

As with every new 360 game these days, Crackdown 2 has a host of unlockable Avatar items, including an Agent Uniform, as well as generic things like a baseball cap. Several avatar items on the list tease two future packs of downloadable content, so you know that the game is going to get some new content after awhile.

Where the first Crackdown excelled was its creative use of achievements, frequently dishing them out for tasks that took a lot of grinding, as well as simpler tasks. Crackdown 2 continues this trend, with some genuinely creative achievements that task you with doing things that you would not normally do, such as driving an agency vehicle off a ramp and in to the path of an agency helicopter, which is exactly what an achievement should be.

Amusingly the Agency handler will announce that you have unlocked your achievement, commenting on how great a feat it was. At least, it is amusing the first few times you hear him say it. After the 10^th time of hearing him say “that was an excellent achievement” I kind of wished that he would stop just shut up and leave me alone.

Review Round-Up

Graphics: 4/5 Crackdown’s signature cell shaded visual style returns, and while some of the characters lack appear to detail, the game features one of the most impressive looking and far reaching skylines in any game I have ever played. When standing on top of the Agency Tower you can literally see every part of the three islands.

Sound: 3/5 There is really only one voice actor in this game – the Agency Handler who is constantly giving you tips for success. The citizens only scream, while the Freaks roar, and the Cell yell incoherently whenever they see you. While the game features licensed tracks to listen to on your car radio none of them are particularly memorable.

Story: 2/5 In comparison to the original Crackdown this game has an epic storyline. However, when compared to other games the story could be called minimal at best. Beyond a short opening and closing cut scene, the only other story elements are relayed through 52 collectible audio diaries that fill in some of the back story.

Gameplay: 4/5 There is a wealth of gameplay types in this game, from racing,to running and gunning, to sky diving. However, the best part of the game is the orb collection, which is more like a platforming puzzle game than anything else. While some orbs are very easy to reach, some are incredibly difficult to reach but offer up big rewards. Chuck in 4 player online multiplayer and this game has pretty much everything you could want in terms of gameplay.

Longevity: 4/5 If you rush through the story missions, avoiding orb collection, stronghold capturing, multiplayer, and side missions then it will probably take you about 8 or so hours to complete the game. However, if you plan on doing that then you are a mental that hates fun. Getting online with 3 other friends is a blast (literally) and could keep the game in your disk tray for a long time to come.

[starreview tpl=16]

Overall: 4 Renegade Agility Orbs out of 5

Crackdown 2 is a worthy successor to one of the most original and interesting games on the Xbox 360. While some could criticise it for sticking to the formula too much, it offers up several new gameplay modes and an addictive bombastic multiplayer mode. If you loved the first Crackdown then there is really no reason not to pick up the sequel.

- Luke Mears

And his enthusiasm rubbed off on us. So impressed were we here at Newb Review Towers that we decided to do a few videos looking at what you can expect from this title.

So what are you waiting for?

Remember, all these videos and more can be found on our official Youtube feed at www.youtube.com/thenewbreview

Make sure you subscribe to our videos, because we’ve got a whole lot of material in the works!

Single Player

Multiplayer

Kane and Lynch 2: Dog days will be released on August 27th in the USA and August 30th in the United Kingdom. Frankly, we can’t wait!

Welcome to the inaugural edition of a new feature we’re trying out on the site: ‘A Newb’s Guide To…’. The basic premise behind this is that The Newb Review offer you our expertise on various challenges in the world of gaming.

Unlike other sites, we will not be offering up plain old game guides – that’s what Game FAQs is for – instead we will offer advice and tips for some of the latest and hottest games as well as general issues in gaming.

Without further ado, we hand you over to Luke Mears for his Mass Effect 2 Insanity Difficulty tips.

Before getting started I feel there is an issue that needs to be addressed. Most sane people will likely be asking themselves ‘why would I even bother such a hideous task?’. Sure, there is a nice 75 point achievement for completing the game on insanity, but is it really worth the effort?

It is no secret that the choices you make in Mass Effect 2 will make an impact in your playthrough of Mass Effect 3. Just look at how completed save files from Mass Effect 1 affected your Mass Effect 2 game; as well as determining who lived or died, importing a previous character granted you added experience, extra resources and wealth, all of which went a long way towards helping you in your battle against the Reapers.

According to one of the loading screens, your Mass Effect 2 save file and completion stats will be uploaded to Mass Effect 3 and will presumably offer similar bonuses. However, while completing the game once is all very well and good, in order to get the most benefit from your save file you will need to complete Mass Effect 2 on the highest difficulty: Insanity.

As the name suggests, Insanity Difficulty is incredibly difficult. Anyone that has been a regular listener of The Newb Review Podcast will know that I have been struggling with Insanity difficulty for months now. After reaching the halfway point, I found myself trapped in a battle I could not possibly win. Despite trying strategy after strategy to overcome the odds, I simply could not progress any further.

It was at this point that I had an epiphany, and have subsequently beaten the game on Insanity Difficulty. Like a Preacher of old, I come here now to share the good word with you. Below are my observations and recommendations for creating the ideal character and squad to get you and your team mates through Mass Effect 2 on Insanity Difficulty.

Play the game

This may sound obvious, considering that you need to beat the game at least once before you can unlock Insanity Difficulty, but I recommend that you play the whole game on Normal Difficulty. Take the opportunity to experiment with squad members and their abilities, and find the most useful squad for the way you play.

Make sure that you recruit every possible team member and complete every single one of their loyalty missions. By earning the loyalty of a squad member you are able to teach yourself one of their unique moves as well as earning an achievement.

'Bloody Collectors, stealing our men folk!'

You may be the sort of person that does not care about achievements, but these achievements are important if you want to stand a chance at beating the game on Insanity.

Playing through the entire game also gives you the chance to become aware of what challenges you will face and help in choosing the ideal squad for each mission.

Start from scratch

I know this will sound stupid, but resist all temptations you have to import your completed Mass Effect 2 character into your new Insanity play through; it will only hold you back. You see, once you finish the game you can then import your Commander Shepard and continue using him/her in a new game. While all of your experience is carried over, none of your purchased weapons/ship upgrades/armour upgrades carry over, which will leave you at a strong disadvantage.

The Solider is an ideal class for your Insanity Playthrough

Enemy strength is linked to your own experience level, so even a fully maxed-out character may find that without the best weapon upgrades, the higher level enemies will pulverise you. Likewise, if you start at experience level 1 the enemies will be relatively weak and easy to kill.

When picking a new character I would recommend the Soldier Class, simply because their adrenaline rush ability is so useful as it slows down time and dramatically boosts damage. When coupled with the sniper riffle you can easily pick off even the strongest of enemies with a few well placed shots.

The Soldier also has Disruptor rounds, which are particularly effective at breaking down Shields and damaging synthetic enemies.

Once you start a new character, the game will scan your achievements and reward you with the special abilities of the characters you have made loyal. Unfortunately you can only use one of these abilities at a time – I would recommend something that boosts your defensive abilities, such as Legion’s Shield Boost.

Be Methodical

When playing missions, make sure to scan every possible item, hack every PDA and Safe, and pick up every resource you can find. As well as giving you more money to purchase upgrades and materials to manufacture upgrades, every mission has hidden weapon and armour upgrades that will significantly boost your performance, as well as the performance of the squad.

If you have the downloadable characters you should complete their loyalty missions as well

This also means recruiting every squad member, and completing every loyalty mission. I know you have already done it once, but if you skip out on one mission you can potentially miss that one vital upgrade that would make the difference between dominating your enemy and cowering from a laser beam enema.

Spend Spend Spend!

Make sure to scour the shops on each of the hub worlds: Illium, The Citadel, Omega, and Tuchunka, and buy as many upgrades as you can afford. Once you have cleared a shop out of their inventory it would be worth returning after completing a few missions as every now and then they get new stock in.

It is also worth noting that the shop keepers on The Citadel and Omega can be persuaded to offer you a discount, so long as you are charismatic enough.

Scanning planets has been made less tedious thanks to a recent patch.

Upgrades that should take priority include: Medigel Capacity, Damage Resistance and the upgrades for your weapon of choice.

Between missions unwind by exploring the galaxy, and scan planets for vital resources. Scanning Planets has been dramatically sped up thanks to a recent patch, so now there is no excuse for not mining planets for resources. By flying to unexplored sectors of space you can scan planets for minerals and elements that are vital in upgrade creation. A pro tip to avoid wasting your time is to only scan planets with moderate or high levels of resources.

Use Your Points Wisely

Prioritise spending your experience points on skills you really need. One of the best skills to max out first is the skill that dictates the health and damage stats. If you have followed my advice and picked a Solider, I would advise not spending any points on the Cryo Ammo, simply because it is not that useful.

Ignore useless abilities!

Focus on increasing your health, improving the Adrenaline Rush, making your Disruptor Ammo stronger, and improving the Shield Boost ability. Those will be your go-to skills.

The same goes for squad members; do not rely on auto point spend to save time, it will be the death of you.  Pick the skills that you feel are most useful for each squad mate and do not waste a single point on useless skills.

Carefully Select Your Squad

Armed with the knowledge of what awaits you, you should be able to choose the ideal squad mate for every mission. However, as you have to recruit most of your team, not everyone will be available to you from the start. Your initial team of Miranda and Jacob will be perfectly fine for the earlier missions, but Jacob in particular quickly displays his weaknesses.

If you recruit everyone you will be able to handle every possible situation

When presented with the choice on where to start, head to the Krogan recruitment mission, as Grunt is the most powerful member of your team. He is armed with incendiary ammo, which burns through armour and flesh. When teamed with Miranda who has the Overload ability, which destroys shields and machinery, and Warp power, which damages Biotic Barriers, you team can cover pretty much any combat situation.

Remember which squad members worked out well for you in your first play through, and try using them again.

Be Patient, Be Prepared

There is only really one noticeable difficulty spike on Insanity, the section in which you board the deserted Collector Vessel. Before accepting the mission make sure you have completed as many missions as possible, and purchased every upgrade you can. As most enemies will have either Armour or Biotic Barriers, a team consisting of Grunt and Miranda is pretty useful.

Get used to getting into this position...

When facing off against Harbinger and the Scions, your best bet is to activate the Soldier’s Adrenaline boost ability and pelt them with Sniper Riffle rounds to the head. The Scions should take no more than 4 shots using this tactic.

Armed with the Soldier’s Shield Boost bonus, you will have a much easier time. Remember to stay in cover and make sure that your team does the same; when popping out of cover be prepared to activate your Shield Boost, as you will likely get shot to ribbons. The added protection of the Shield Boost should give you enough time to fire off a few well placed shots and take your foes down one at a time.

So there you have it, everything you need to get through the toughest challenge Mass Effect 2 has to offer. If you have any of your own pro tips to contribute, be sure to post below or head over to the forum and let us know.

To say that Earthworm Jim has a rabid fanbase would be an understatement. Despite only featuring in a handful of games, Earthworm Jim managed to capture the imagination of a generation over 15 years ago when it was first released on the Sega Megadrive. The original game was ported over to every console under the sun at the time, and was eventually remade for the Sega CD with better graphics and a new sound track.

So you could say that Earthworm Jim has a history with remakes. Now Gameloft have taken the beloved classic and brought it over in shiny smooth, crystal clear HD for the current generations of consoles. But in doing so, has the game lost that initial magic?

The most striking thing about Earthworm Jim is the graphical overhaul. Gameloft have put in a lot of work in making the game look as good as possible. It has a very charismatic cartoon look, with wonderfully crisp and clear graphics. The music has also been reworked, using actual instruments rather than the old tiny synthesiser tunes of the past. As someone that still owns Earthworm Jim on the Sega Megadrive, I was incredibly impressed with how good the game looks and sounds.

The new graphics are stunning

In terms of gameplay, this HD remake of Earthworm Jim is exactly the same as the original version of the game. Armed with a machine gun, Jim has to navigate his way through a series of sizeable levels, fending off crows, dogs, demons, and steroid enhanced Cats, to name but a few enemies. There is something gloriously ridiculous about the character designs that constantly bombards you with 90s chic (if such a thing exists).

In order to navigate gaps Jim can use his worm body to latch on to hooks, allowing him to swing. Alternatively Jim can spin his head like a helicopter propeller, allowing him to glide over gaps. As well as being used for navigation, Jim uses his worm body as a whip, which proves useful in fending off enemies and turning cranks.

Between levels Jim races against his arch enemy, Psy-Crow (a crow in a yellow space suit) through a wormhole in outer space on a rocket. You must avoid asteroids and defeat your rival  using speed boosts and a shield pick-ups in the process. Losing the race means you must face against Psy-Crow in an impromptu boss fight, which can potentially use up precious extra lives.

The new levels may feature some fairly bland backgrounds, but they still feel authentic

It is in these races that you earn extra continues by collecting at least 50 blue orbs. At first the game is easy enough that you will not feel that you really need the continues. However, around the fourth level the difficulty ratchets up, making every extra life and continue count.

Anyone that played the original game will remember that it was incredibly hard. Fortunately, Gameloft have offered two new difficulties; easy and normal, as well as the game’s original difficulty. As previously mentioned, the opening levels are easy enough and it’s not until you reach about the halfway mark in the game that it suddenly becomes incredibly challenging. I actually find myself really enjoying the first few levels, and becoming incredibly frustrated with the latter half of the game, despite the new easier difficulties.

This is my own personal hell

Of particular note are the underwater levels, in which Jim must navigate an incredibly fragile glass submarine through a series of tight rocky path ways. If the fragility of the submarines didn’t make it challenging enough, you only have a limited air supply, which means you will have to balance speed and efficiency with care and accuracy. I personally hate the underwater levels and really wished that Gameloft had cut them out altogether, but that is just my own personal preference.

Gameloft have also included 3 unlockable entirely new levels, which feature new enemies including robot wasps and a jet pack wearing granny. While the backgrounds for these levels come across as being fairly uninspired, they feel genuinely authentic thanks to the character designs and music.

Also included is a new 4 player co-op mode that can be played both online and locally with four different coloured Jims for the players to control. These levels are based on the levels of the main game, but with a multiplayer twist. I was reminded of the 4 player co-op in last year’s ’Splosion Man, which has proven to be a bit of a mixed bag. While it is a welcome addition, it can prove to be a little frustrating if you are playing with someone that does not know what they are doing, or enjoys winding up other players.

The final Gameloft addition to this pack is Avatar rewards. As well as offering a fairly generic Earthworm Jim T-shirt, after completing one of the new single player levels you are rewarded with your own version of Jim’s Spacesuit. As far as novelties go, this is a pretty good one that should offer at least some amusement.

Review Round-Up

Graphics: 5/5 – Gameloft have done a spectacular job in cleaning up the original graphics. The character designs and animations are smooth and clear, making the game look better than ever.

Sound: 4/5 – The music has been rerecorded, replacing the original tinny sounding synthesiser music completely. There is no real voice acting per say, apart from the odd “groovy!” and “woah Nelly!” that Jim will yell out at specific points.

Story: 1/5 – Those looking for an epic story need to look elsewhere. The only real story in this game comes at the introduction: Psy-Crow is after the space suit, it crash lands on earth (landing on top of Jim) and then the game begins. There is no real explanation for why Jim does what he does. But does that really matter?

Gameplay: 4/5 – There is a nice variety ranging from your standard run-and-gun platforming, to the dreaded underwater submarine levels, to a bungee jump battle against a man made of snot. Multiplayer adds depth to the whole package, but can be frustrating at times.

Longevity: 3/5 – The single player game can be completed in under one hour if you are particularly good at it. However, there are three new levels that will add on some extra time, as well as the reasonably lengthy multiplayer mode.

Overall: 4 Roided out Cats out of 5. Gameloft have done a spectacular job in bringing this 16 bit classic to modern audiences. The only real downside is the harsh difficulty spikes. Earthworm Jim is a must have remake for fans of the series and should definitely be tried by those that never had the chance to play the original.

[starreview tpl=16]

Earthworm Jim HD is currently available to download on Xbox Live for 800 Microsoft points (about £6.80) and will be available on Playstation Network and the Wii virtual Console soon.

- Luke Mears

A boy and his dog; just saying it conjures up images of long hot summers spent in fields or woods, playing fetch or just running around having fun, right? Now imagine that this boy is a fully grown, roided up Cop, and that his dog is a gigantic Husky/Wolf type thing. And those fields? They’re needle littered alleyways populated by hobos and Triads. Instead of fetching a ball, your dog rips the jugular out of those punk Triads and brings you a blood soaked mound of throat meat upon its return. That pretty much sums up Dead to Rights: Retribution; One Man and His Dog… on steroids.

Playing as Jack Slate, super cop, and his life partner Shadow the Dog as they clean up the mean streets of Grant City, Dead to rights is, in terms of narrative, a fairly generic experience. In recent weeks, gang related violence has been on the increase in Slate’s once fair city, and following the murder of his father (also a cop) while investigating the Triads, Slate charges in head first to avenge his father. On the way he will uncover “a shocking conspiracy” that will shake his world to its very core.

Of course the “shocking” secrets in the game are utterly obvious from the outset, but overall that does not detract too much from the game. The character of Jack Slate is your typical hard boiled, tough talking, fist fighting cop. In the opening scene Slate displays his singular character trait by arguing with his superior over the handling of a hostage situation, handing over his badge and gun as a result of disobeying his boss and charging in waving his fists around, vowing to sort the mess out. The voice actor portraying Jack manages to maintain a very gritty performance without showing any real character. In fact, Jack Slate is so entirely without character that he manages to transcend awfulness, and actually comes across as being quite cool… in a sort of rubbish way.

Despite being a bit clumsy, the combat is fairly deep.

The game is a lot like a cross between the duck-and-cover antics of the Gears of War/Uncharted series and Batman Arkham Asylum, with a little bit of Army of Two chucked in for good measure. As this is a third person action shooter game, you can duck behind cover and perform blind fire shooting as you would expect. What sets this game apart is that as well as the shooting, there is a fairly deep melee combat system that revolves around performing combos and blocking/reversing attacks, and grappling your enemies.

Once you have an enemy in your grasp you can do one of two things: firstly, you can throw your enemies, which is particularly useful if you are in an exceptionally high location, and secondly you can take the poor sap hostage. When you have a hostage you can use him to deter your enemies from shooting at you, or if in an extreme situation, you can literally use your hostage as a mobile piece of cover, making him your personal bullet sponge.

The fist combat itself is a little clumsy, but there is some depth to it. Pressing the Y button performs a quick attack, while the B button performs heavy attacks. You can chain these buttons together to perform different combo types, but in general I found pressing Y,Y,Y,B,Y,Y,Y worked best in pretty much every situation. Once you have pummeled your opponent enough you are prompted to press A to perform a Takedown quick kill. These little animated kills can be pretty visceral, but there aren’t many of them; seeing Slate break a guy’s arm and then snapping his neck gets kind of old around the 30th time you have seen him do it.

Holding X allows you to block, and if you tap X just before someone hits you then you can counter their attack. Enemies are also able to block, so pressing both Y and B together will perform a block breaking move, and pressing A and X together executes a grab. However, as Slate is only human, he cannot take too much fire, so charging at heavily armed enemies with the intention of punching their brains out the back of their skull is rarely a wise course of action. Should you find yourself within close proximity of an armed opponent, pressing the A button has you disarming your foe and using their gun against them, with the cross hairs lining up automatically with their head. This can lead to some satisfying executions if you are quick enough to fire a few shots.

Headshots are the order of the day

When it comes to the shooting, the game is fairly competent. Holding the left trigger will allow you to aim and ideally you will want to go for one-hit-kill headshots. This is primarily down to the fact that there tend to be a lot of enemies, wearing a lot of armour, and you do not have an abundance of ammunition. In fact, I would probably go as far as to say there is a severe ammo drought in Grant City. You will rarely have more than about a dozen bullets at a time, despite having a uniform with dozens of pouches and pockets. Even when killing enemies, they will rarely have more than a few bullets on them.

You can only hold two guns at a time; a pistol and a larger gun, be it a shotgun, a machine gun, or a rocket launcher, and a set of grenades. Although it is something of a disadvantage, there are a number of in-game features that help level out the playing field. Performing headshots, grabbing enemies, countering attacks and performing take downs all fill up a metre on the left of the screen called the Focus Metre. The Focus Metre can be activated at any time by pressing the left bumper, and puts the game into Focus Mode (basically slow motion) allowing you to get a slight advantage over your foes. It is particularly useful, for instance, to activate the Focus Mode when faced by a large group of enemies, which will let you take your time lining up headshot after headshot. The Focus mode is undeniably useful, and quite good fun, but it has been done many times before – including in previous Dead to Rights games.

Something that is quite original is the implementation of Shadow himself. At the start of the game you take control of Shadow and must protect a wounded Slate from angry triads. The controls are simple enough. Pressing A will make Shadow kill enemies and holding the right trigger will make Shadow sprint. Later sections of the game have you stealthily controlling Shadow as he hunts for keys, or disables generators, in order to help Slate out of a jam. Holding down the left trigger makes Shadow sneak which also activates what I can only describe as his Dog senses. While sneaking, Shadow can see the outline of enemies through walls, as well as clues as to where he has to go. It is a nice enough distraction and breaks up some of the monotony of playing as Slate, but on occasion can be very frustrating due to the Dog’s low level of health.

Shadow has a penchant for chewing on groins

When playing as Slate you can issue simple commands to Shadow; pressing up on the digital pad while pointing at an enemy will make Shadow attack that specific enemy, and pressing up while pointing at a gun will have Shadow fetch it for you. If you find you are being overwhelmed by enemies, or just want Shadow to retreat, simply press down. It is very clear that the developers have put a lot of work into making Shadow look as good as possible and have done a good job making sicking a gigantic slavering dog on your enemies a fun experience.

When Shadow eventually catches a target, he tends to go for the throat (or the groin) which causes gigantic showers of blood to come spraying out. Of course Shadow is only a dog, and not made of Kevlar, so after absorbing a few shots he can be taken down. Fortunately Shadow will eventually recover, or you can walk over to him and revive him yourself.

There are about a dozen missions to fight your way through with various objectives, such as hunting down a specific target, destroying vehicles, or disarming bombs. Yet, in the end, all it really comes down to is hiding behind a bit of cover and trying to line up headshot after headshot. As much as there is to do, it is all quite samey.

That is not the only problem with this game. Mission length is especially uneven, with several missions being way too long. There is also an issue with irritating check points, where the check point occurs before an unskipable section of dialogue, which is an unforgivable gaming sin.

Review Round-Up

Graphics: 4/5 Most of the character models are fairly generic looking, including Jack Slate himself, with fairly standard looking character animations. However, a lot of work has been put into making Shadow look as realistic as possible, and it really pays off. The Grant City environments are mostly dark, rainy, grim and gritty (like another famous fictional City that begins with a G), with a fairly decent selection of colours on display.

Sound: 3/5 The voice acting, in general, is competent at best. Having said that, there are a few scenes that stick out as featuring good performances. The lead actor manages to maintain a grim and gritty delivery throughout the game without ever showing much personality.

Story: 3/5 The story holds together well, although pretty much every surprising secret can be seen coming from a mile off. It is a fairly generic B movie plot, but there’s nothing really wrong with that.

Gameplay: 4/5 Despite being a bit clumsy, the melee combat has a decent amount of depth to it, and being able to disarm enemies or take them hostage is a fun feature. Stealthily playing as Shadow starts out as a decent alternative to the run-and-gun hi jinks, but becomes tiresome towards the end. Implementing Shadow in fire fights works well, as it is always amusing to see a heavily armed foe legging it across the battlefield being pursued by a massive dog.

Longevity: 2/5 This is a single player only game, with about a dozen missions in it, and will take about 8 or so hours to complete on the regular difficulty. There are three difficulties to choose from, with an abundance of easy achievements, and Avatar awards, such as a suit of armour and t shirts on the Xbox 360 version.

Overall 3 Punctured Testicles out of 5. Dead to Rights: Retribution is a solid action game with some very interesting features such as Shadow the Dog and the close quarter melee combat. While there are a number of minor issues that hamper the overall experience, including overlong levels, random difficulty spikes, and some bad check pointing, that does not stop it from succeeding at being a decent popcorn action game. It comes across as feeling a bit old fashioned and can be very frustrating in parts, but overall it’s pretty good fun.

[starreview tpl=16]

Left 4 Dead 2 was a very popular game among critics, particularly among us here at The Newb Review. This year Left 4 Dead 2 won the prestigious BAFTA (the UK’s equivalent of the Oscars) for Best Multiplayer Game of 2009. So you can imagine out excitement when Valve confirmed that they would be releasing a number of add-ons for this fantastic title. The first piece of downloadable content is The Passing, which has our band of survivors coming across the survivors from the original Left 4 Dead. The tag line for this new act is “no one survives forever” which teases the death of one of the beloved characters… But who?!

Fear not, we will not spoil it for you here.

The Passing features one new act, made up of three new chapters that take place after the survivors escape from the shopping mall in the supped up race car, and before they are forced to abandon it outside the Dark Carnival. Having followed the road straight out of town, our tenacious survivors (Coach, Ellis, Nick, and Rochelle) find themselves at a raised bridge, which is being protected by the original survivors. After a brief cut scene (which on occasion failed to actually load up for me) we are told that the generator that controls the bridge is out of fuel, and that you will have to refuel the generator if you want to get across. Of course, in typical Left 4 Dead Fashion, there are about 1 Billion zombies between you and your objective. By the time you reach your objective you will probably be drenched in Zombie blood, bile, vomit, and an array of nasty bodily fluids. Why are things never easy in the Zombie Apocalypse?

'I think there might be some zombies out there...'

The three chapters feature everything you have come to expect from Left 4 Dead 2: dimly lit streets, a raging storm, and Zombies… Lots and lots of Zombies. All of the Special Infected return, including the veteran Boomers, Smokers, Hunters, the dreaded Tank and Witch (who has had something of a makeover for this act) as well as the new kids on the block, Spitters, Chargers, and Jockeys.

On your quest to restart the generator, you will come across lock boxes filled to the brim with supplies, as well as two new weapons; a golf club, and an M60 Machine Gun as well as a new type of uncommon infected, the Fallen Survivor. Basically, the Fallen Survivor is a survivor that was not as immune to the virus as he might first have thought. This new zombie takes an awful lot of shooting, but also carries a lot of items, such as health packs, Molotovs, pipe bombs, etc, so coming across him does have its rewards, as well as risks.

The Action is as fast paced and frantic as ever

Also returning are the Survivor messages written on the walls of the safe houses, with one note in particular that will bring a smile to the faces of fans of Capcom’s Dead Rising series.

As well as new achievements, there are some new Avatar costume pieces to unlock, including your very own Gnome Chompski, which will doubtlessly capture the imagination, and trouser contents, of Valve’s more hardcore fans.

All three Maps can be played in the story mode (on your own, in 2 player split screen, or 4 player online), Versus mode (which features a team of survivors VS a team of special infected zombies), Survivor mode (a time attempt to survive as long as possible against the zombie hordes) and Scavenger Mode (in which you must collect as many canisters of gasoline as you can within a set time limit). Arguably the biggest new feature added in this DLC is the Mutations Mode.

The Zombies are clearly big fans of Jazz

A short blog post that is attached to the main menu explains Mutations Mode thusly: Mutations mode takes already established game types, such as Versus, and adds special conditions to them, like a chainsaws only mode. Think of it as being like Golden Gun mode in Goldeneye, or Riot Shields only Modern Warfare 2 matches. Each mutation will last for one week exactly, and once every type of mutation has cycled through, players will be asked to vote for their favourite one. The top user voted Mutations will be made playable again. The first Mutation is Realistic Versus Mode, in which there are no respawns, and no outlines on players or items. In short, Realistic Versus Mode takes away all of the advantages on the Human’s side, making it a very Zombie friendly game mode. With at least six types of mutations confirmed, it is clear that Valve is dedicated towards breathing more life in to Left 4 Dead 2’s multiplayer.

Review Round-Up

Graphics: 4/5 While the Source Engine that powers Left 4 Dead 2 is showing it’s age, a lot of effort has gone in to making the game look at good as possible, particularly with the design of the levels and characters. Faces look particularly gruesome, and the streets are dauntingly atmospheric.

Sound: 3/5 The music, sound effects, and voice acting are on par with the main game, as you would expect. However, on occasion, I have had a few problems with the noise produced by the raging storm being far too loud, drowning out all of the other sounds in the game. I do not know if it is intentional, but I found it very irritating.

Story: 2/5 Anyone that is playing Left 4 Dead because they are looking for a fantastic in depth story should probably look elsewhere. The story is very basic, and on occasion, a key cut scene at the beginning of the expansion failed to actually let me know what was going on. It’s a good thing that Valve have announced an expansion for the original Left 4 Dead to fill in the gaps in this add-on.

Gameplay: 5/5 While you can play it in single player, Left 4 Dead 2 is best played with other people. A welcome addition included in the 360 version brings an update, which has been available to PC players for some time, that allows any empty spaces in your multiplayer Versus or Scavenge games will be filled with computer controlled bots.

Longevity: 4/5 Your first play through of the Passing will probably last between half an hour and one hour, depending on your skill level. Achievements and Avatar Awards incentivise multiple play throughs of the DLC, while the Mutations mode breathes new life in to the multiplayer modes, both locally and online.

Overall 4 Exploding Boomers out of 5. While there are a few niggling issues: unclear narrative, and the odd sound problem, The Passing brings with it a lot of new features that are fun, engaging, and downright addictive. PC players can install this update for free, while Xbox 360 Owners will have to pay 560 Microsoft Points (about £4.80) for the privilege.

[starreview tpl=16]

As a child I distinctly remember becoming conditioned to stay away from blue Smarties because of an ITV news report. In this news report, a child mistook his parent’s medication for blue Smarties, consumed the whole lot, and subsequently wound up dead. Thanks to the ITV reporter warning parents about the dangers of blue Smarties, my mother told me in no uncertain terms that I was never to consume blue Smarties ever again. Being but four years old I simply listened to my mother, as all good children should, as she was acting on the advice of the man on television.

Not once did it cross my mind that perhaps blue Smarties were not to blame, nor were the pills in question. Perhaps the blame should lie at the feet of the parents who did not take proper care to keep dangerous medication out of the reach of their young child. However, it would seem that this specific leap in logic is beyond these journalists, or perhaps it is a less financially viable reporting avenue to go down; who would want to read a story about sloppy parenting when they could instead be worked up in to a fury over some external threat?

Careful now!

“But what has this got to do with videogames?” I hear you cry. As we all know, The Newb Review is a well respected website, dedicated to the coverage of all things video game related, not some weepy blog of a rampant Emo-saur. Being the newest and most popular kid on the entertainment block (the games industry is barely 30 years old after all) video games are a prime target for these journalists who, for the most part, have next to no knowledge on the subject, and are all to quick to condemn. Just look at the recent debate on The Alan Titchmarsh show.

Enough has already been written about the fiasco that looked at the effect violent video games are having on children, such as our very own Tom’s satirical response to the “debate”, so I won’t go in to too much depth here. But it is safe to say that it was a prime example of a bunch of old fuddy-duddies gathering together with their burning torches and pitchforks, looking for someone or something to blame for the state of the world. These are the kind of people who display their ignorance on their lapels.

Another example of this “Fuddy Duddy syndrome” can be found in the pages of The Daily Mail, a reactionary UK Tabloid newspaper. Following the United Kingdom’s 2008 Byron Report, a study funded by the UK Government to look at the effect violent video games have on people, The Daily Mail, Britain’s Moral Defender, asked writer and presenter Anne Diamond to review some adult rated games she picked up on the high street. Normally I would say that writing an article criticising the Daily Mail is as futile as writing an article criticising Nazi Germany’s policy towards ethnic minorities, but there are some real gems contained in her paragraph long reviews.

'Ban this sick filth'

Highlights include calling Scarface: The World is Yours “mindless garbage”, and Dead or Alive 4 “mindless and stupid”. When reviewing the multiple Game of the Year award winning Resident Evil 4, she had this to offer “This game shouldn’t be allowed to be sold, even to adults… This kind of violence can only be bad for you”. Compare this to the highly respected Edge Magazine’s multipage feature about the same game in the latest issue , number 214, detailing the creation of what it calls a contender for “game of the decade”. This is clearly a case of someone who has no idea what they are talking about (Anne Diamond) offering their opinion and looking very foolish in the process (so much so that the Daily Mail refuses to accept comments on her online version of the article, and blocks access to past comments).

It probably won’t surprise you, but this is nothing new. Video games are one of many in a long line of entertainment mediums that have been attacked by the press. Throughout history, writers have criticised what they see as the faults of the young and speculated what has caused this terrible behaviour. In the early 1900s, the Chicago Tribune published articles concerning the corruption of the nation’s youth by the vile art of dancing. That’s right, dancing. Even simple everyday things like television and mobile phones have been blamed for the degradation of society by these journalists.

Those of us that are old enough should cast out minds back to the late 1980s and 1990s. Back then, the focus of the moral outrage in certain parts of the media was aimed squarely at controversial films such as Natural Born Killers and Child’s Play 3, both of which were tenuously linked to high profile murder cases; The Columbine Shooting and the Jamie Bulger murder respectively. While those films are very clearly of an adult nature, the link between these films and the specific murder cases have been feeble at best. It is reassuring that the debate against violent movies has quietened in recent years, thanks primarily to the fact that the current generation of Journalists grew up watching violent movies. Yet the media is always quick to lay the blame at some external influence that has “corrupted” the perpetrators of the crime, rather than face up to the fact that we as a species are absolutely fucking horrible.

'Won't someone think of the children?!'

How else do you explain atrocities that have happened throughout history before the invention of video games, Television, Mobile Phones, or Cinema? How do we explain the enslavement of innocent Africans, or the decimation of the Native American and Native Australian populations at the hands of European settlers? Can we expect the Daily Mail to reveal that Adolf Hitler was a big Command and Conquer player in his day? In general, and to be less flippant, the older generation has always looked at the young and criticised their behaviour. A quotation attributed to Socrates, the Greek Philosopher that lived over 2,000 years ago, discusses the problem with the youth of the day:

“The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers.”

Sound familiar? My own personal message to Alan Titchmarsh, The Daily Mail, ITV, scaremongering journalists, and all of their readers is this: You want to blame something for the state of your children and the world around you? Look in the mirror. Stop blaming new toys that you can’t figure out how to play and take a good, hard look at yourselves. And while you’re at it, read some of the articles Journalists of the past have written about the corrupting power of Dancing, Telephones, Books, Movies, and Cartoons, to name but a few. Maybe, just maybe, it might change the way you think about new forms of entertainment.

No one can deny that Heavy Rain is a divisive game. Some would even go so far as the argue that it isn’t even a real game thanks to its focus on storytelling over traditional gameplay. I personally found it to be one of the most tense, enthralling, and emotionally engaging titles I have played in a long time. So when downloadable content was announced for this brilliant game I felt compelled to get my hands on it.

Rather than continuing after the events of the main story, The Heavy Rain Chronicles are the equivalent of DVD deleted scenes, taking place at different points in the game; perhaps thinking of them as lost chapters would be a more suitable comparison. The first downloadable chapter, The Taxidermist has resident journalist Madison Paige investigating a potential Origami Killer suspect, a Taxidermist named Layland White, that lives out in the suburbs. It is never really said why she suspects him of being the Origami Killer, all we know is her editor says he is a suspect and that’s it.

Upon inspecting White’s front door, and finding it to be locked, with no signs of anyone home, it’s up to you to find a way to break into his home and conduct your own investigation. As with the rest of Heavy Rain, there are a number of ways this downloadable content can go. Ideally, you want to explore the house and leave no signs behind that you have even been there. Upon securing entry to the ground floor you can open cupboards, examine the contents of the fridge, and his fireplace. Other areas to explore include the secluded garage, and the upstairs of the house, which holds a gruesome secret.

The Taxidermist's home has that perfect Psycho feel to it

Of course, as you would expect in a thriller, just when you find all the evidence you need and are about to make your escape, the Taxidermist returns home. As fun as the exploration and mild detective work is, the real tension in this add-on comes from your attempts to escape the house without the Taxidermist discovering that you are there. On my first attempt I failed miserably. Having decided that the best course of action was to hide myself inside a large wardrobe, which was performed by holding down several buttons at once, I soon developed a painful cramp in my hand and had to let go of the buttons, which caused me to fall out of the cupboard at exactly the wrong time; just as the Taxidermist was walking past the room. After a brief chase, in which I ran down a dead end, the Taxidermist quickly gutted me, which brought an end to the expansion.

The terrible secret is pretty obvious from the outset

At this point the game reveals that the way in which I had just completed the game was merely one of five possible outcomes, and invited me to load up a check point in order to try to obtain a different ending. Two of the other endings were fairly obvious, while the final two took a little bit of exploration and logical thinking to figure out. If you are the sort that prefers not to tax the logical side of your brain too much, then a quick google search should turn up a guide. There is also a slight issue with detachment; anyone that is playing this add on will probably already have finished the main story and already know who the killer is. As such, this search for the Origami Killer, who we already know is not the Taxidermist, comes across as being a bit redundant.

Review Round-Up

Graphics: 4/5 Much like the actual game itself, the graphics range from the sublime to the shockingly bad in places. The design of the Taxidermist’s house is incredibly atmospheric and gives off an incredibly creepy vibe.

Sound: 4/5 The music is reminiscent of your typical Hollywood thriller, and is successful in enhancing the already tense atmosphere.

Gameplay: 3/5 As with the rest of Heavy Rain, the game is a cross between a sort of old school point and click adventure, and fast paced quick time button presses. The first two sections of this add on are fairly straight forward; section one has you exploring the outside of the house in order to find a way in, while section two has you snooping around the Taxidermist’s home. The real meat of this expansion comes in the final segment, in which you must try and escape from the Taxidermist’s home.

Longevity: 2/5 While there are five possible outcomes, on my first play through I had completed the add on within 10 minutes. Subsequent play throughs took less time, as I knew exactly where to go in order to trigger the Taxidermist’s return home. While you can explore every nook and cranny of the Taxidermist’s home, there really is little reason to beyond the first play through.

Overall: 3 Stuffed Owls out of 5. While this add on exemplifies everything that is right with Heavy Rain, it also features the same weaknesses. Although there are five possible endings, most may not bother searching them out, if only because the add-on feels a little detached from the main game.

[starreview tpl=16]

With the advent of this generation of consoles we have seen the rise in prominence of digital downloads thanks to Xbox Live Arcade, Playstation Network, and the Wii Store. Not only are we seeing the release of really great original titles like Shadow Complex but we are also treated to classic titles from older consoles that, until now, have been unavailable without delving into the depths of your local used games store, or taking a chance on ebay. Arguably one of the most demanded titles would be the N64 classic Goldeneye, a game that is renowned for popularising first person shooters on home consoles thanks to it’s spectacular four player deathmatch mode.

Unfortunately the legal wranglings to get Goldeneye on current consoles are too gargantuan, not only would Microsoft have to broker a deal with Activision, the current Bond licence owners, but they would have to deal with Nintendo too. Thus, Microsoft offer us the next best thing: Perfect Dark. When Perfect Dark was released on the N64 it was considered to be the spiritual sequel to Goldeneye, with the same fantastic multiplayer mode including a number of Goldeneye’s best levels and fantastically imaginative new weapons, such as an alien riffle that can shoot enemies through walls.

This re-release of Perfect Dark has been given an HD make over. Although the graphics are recognisably of the N64 era, they do look very smooth and polished. When Perfect Dark was originally released, a big feature of the game was that every character in the game had a real person’s face. With this being an HD remake, the character faces have been reworked to look clearer than ever. Joanna Dark in particular has had a lot of attention paid to her face.

Joanna Dark has had a HD makeover

In terms of controls, the game has three pre-set schemes. These are the original controls transferred across to the 360 controller, Call of Duty style controls, and Halo style controls. The ability to adjust the controls according to your shooting game of preference is a good feature, and it would be nice if more shooters took this approach.

As a way of compensating the gamers for their inability to broker a deal that would see Goldeneye being released on Xbox Live Arcade, this version of Perfect Dark has all of the weapons from Goldeneye available to be used in multiplayer. In essence, the multiplayer is exactly the same as Goldeneye’s, but with new weapons and levels. While the original Perfect Dark only had split screen multiplayer, this version has online multiplayer as well. Offering games with up to 8 players, as well as 4 player split screen, the multiplayer is as great now as it was back when it was on the N64. The game features a generous auto-aim feature, thanks mostly to particularly sensitive aiming and the extreme speed that the characters move at.

The guns themselves have two modes of fire. Some guns’ secondary fire mode makes the gun in to a melee weapon, while others can be turned in to proximity mines, or sentry turrets. Even now Perfect Dark has some of the most imaginative guns of any game; the only contender in my eyes is the Ratchet and Clank series. The Alien guns in particular have some very innovative features, such as the ability to see and shoot through walls.

Every weapon has a secondary fire mode, including this gun which can see through walls

Whilst arguably the multiplayer is the biggest selling point of this game, there are a ton of other features. As well as a shooting range, in which you can try out every weapon in the game, there are combat simulation challenges; essentially multiplayer games against computer controlled opponents with specific goals, and the story mode. Story mode can be played in single player and two player co-op, as well as the innovative Counter Operative mode. The Counter Ops mode has the second player take on the role of the nameless enemies in the story mode. Your objective is simple, kill Joanna Dark and stop her from achieving her goals. While the guards have a very small health bar, if you are killed you can respawn without being penalised indefinitely. Joanna, however, only has one life, and if you are successful in killing her then you win.

There are a ton of game modes to choose from

The story mode itself is a bit uneven by today’s standards. In particular the levels, while being fairly small, are designed in such a way that it is rarely clear where exactly you need to be going. There are no radars, map markers, or guidelines of any sort in the story mode, which only really highlights how much modern games hold our hands and guide us. There are over a dozen levels in the Story mode, but for the most part they can be completed in less than five minutes on the default difficulty. Playing each mission on the higher difficulties not only makes you more vulnerable to bullets, but adds new mission objectives, which serves to increase the length of each mission.

Despite the HD make over, the game maintains it's original look.

As good as the game looks and as fun as the multiplayer is, the game still has a very old fashioned feel to it. The free aiming is too sensitive, which makes sniper sections of the game more challenging. Having said that, the same could be said of Perfect Dark when it first came out, and you can always adjust the sensitivity in the menu.

Review Round-Up

Graphics: 4/5 The HD makeover gives a very clear, smooth look. They still manage to maintain that typical N64 look that the original had.

Sound: 3/5 Voice acting is, for the most part, fairly generic. The music has a very recognisable Sci-fi sound to it that is reminiscent of John Carpenter movies.

Gameplay: 5/5 The addition of online multiplayer is fantastic. Anyone that spent hours and hours playing Goldeneye on the sofa with their friends will love it. The inclusion of Co-Op in the story mode is a welcome feature, and the Counter-Operative feature, where the second player must try and stop the first player from finishing their objectives, is inspired.

Longevity: 5/5 The Story mode is about a dozen levels long, and can be played through on three separate difficulties, each with their own unique objectives. The real meat of the game comes in the form of the multiplayer, both online and splitscreen.

Overall: 4 Proximity Mines out 5. While Perfect Dark does feel like an old game, with archaic level design and slightly wonky controls, the inclusion of all the multiplayer modes, including the co-op/counter-operative modes, makes Perfect Dark a wonderfully nostalgic experience for anyone that sat up all night shooting their friends on Goldeneye. Younger players may well be less impressed with this game thanks to it being so old fashioned, but considering the low price of 800 Microsoft Points (about £6.50) it is hard not to recommend Perfect Dark to all 360 owners, both young and old.

Game: Borderlands: The Secret Armory of General Knoxx
Format: Xbox 360
Developer: Gearbox Software
Publisher: 2K Games

The Newb Review Game of the Year nominee Borderlands received it’s third piece of downloadable content last week, and to cut to the chase, it is brilliant. After the shambolic mess that is Mad Moxxi’s Underdome Riot which cut out all of the fun aspects of Borderlands: exploration of vibrant open areas, looting, and levelling up, we are treated to a lengthy new campaign, complete with expansive environments, new enemies, new weapons, and a further 11 experience levels to unlock.

Taking place directly after the events of the main game story, your character is contacted by Athena, an assassin who has recently quit working for the Crimson Lance and asks for your help bringing them down. Summoning you to T-Bone Junction, an entirely new town that you can access from any fast travel station, you are tasked with destroying the last stronghold of the Crimson Lance, in particular the titular Armory of General Knoxx.

T-Bone Junction and the surrounding area is large. Each area is linked together by Highways that are overrun with Crimson Lance soldiers. Your main objective is to destroy roadblocks in order to gain access to new areas such as a Prison and Deep Fathoms, which is a dried up lake. During your travels you will meet a number of memorable characters, and while the story is not exactly great, the dialogue is as fantastic as ever. General Knoxx in particular shines with his apathetic messages regarding his superior officer who send him taunting orders written in Macaroni and Crayons. As well as excellent new characters, a number of old faces make a return including Scooter and Mad Moxxi, complete with amusing dialogue.

New vehicles and enemies are abundant in this add on

In order to access the new areas you will need to construct new vehicles to break through the Crimson Lance’s road blocks. The three new vehicles comprise of The Racer (a speedy version of your standard car), The Monster (a Jeep armed with machine guns and homing missiles) and The Lancer (A four person tank armed with mines, machine guns, a laser canon, and a pulse blast). Each of these vehicles has their own strengths and weaknesses, such as the Racer being incredibly fast but vulnerable to damage. The vehicles are very useful when facing off against the new enemies that have been added to the game.

As well as the elemental shock troopers; armoured soldiers that have weapons that inflict either shock, explosive, fire, or corrosive damage, there are a number of new bandit types and new creatures called Drifters: towering spider like creatures. On top of the new enemies and environments, a new super rare class of weapons has been added. These Pearlescent weapons (coloured a sort of turquoise blue in your inventory) are incredibly rare and devastatingly powerful.

The enemies you face are very tough

Due to the fact that the main story of this add on takes place after the ending of Borderlands, you cannot access any of the missions until you have completed the main game’s story. Consequently, the enemies that you will fight are pretty tough. It is very clear that this pack has been designed with multiplayer in mind, as there are a large number of enemies on screen at any one time.

There are a number of side missions included in the game, ranging from simple assassination missions to general Fed-Ex quests. One mission in particular “the Super Secret Final Boss”, is actually impossible to beat on your own as the boss is a level 64 character. The level cap has been raised to 61 in this game, which means that even if you completely upgrade your character, this boss is 3 levels stronger than you are. The only way to beat him is to team up with other high levelled characters and work together to take him and his minions down. You will be rewarded with some of the rarest items in the game for beating this boss, but it is no mean feat.

General Knoxx is an apathetic bastard.

As with every other mission in Borderlands, The Secret Armory of General Knoxx can be played through twice by each character; once on playthrough one, and the final time on a second run. The second play through features stronger enemies of a higher experience level, which should keep this add on challenging even for those with exceptionally strong characters.

Review Round-Up

Graphics: 5/5 Brilliant character designs with bold, colourful, expressive graphics. Very stylish overall.

Sound: 4/5 The strong voice acting you would come to expect from a Borderlands game returns. The music remains as strong as ever, and the sound effects are as varied as usual.

Gameplay: 4/5 A wide variety of missions ranging from simple assassination missions, to your typical fetch quests. The three new vehicles shake things up a bit, with each of them having their own strengths and weaknesses. Although it is easier to play this add on with other players, and probably more fun, it is possible to play through it in single player so long as you have a strong enough character.

Longevity: 5/5 The main story missions will last a good few hours, and there are a number of optional side missions. The inclusion of a further 11 experience levels could also provide enough reason to go back and complete more missions in order to get as much experience as possible.

Overall: 4 Pearlescent Shotguns out of 5 It seems Gearbox have listened to the critics of Mad Moxxi’s Underdome Riot and delivered an incredibly strong add on that builds on all of the original game’s strengths. Exploring a large open world populated with memorable characters and a ton of new equipment has brought new life to Borderlands.

The Secret Armory of General Knoxx is available for download now on PC, PS3, and Xbox 360.

[starreview tpl=16]