No one likes a smart arse, but to be fair we did call it!

As you may be aware from our glowing review, we are fans of the cool, stylish puzzler that is Contre Jour, and it seems that we are not alone.

Taking the plaudits of iPad Game of the Year 2011 in 14 major markets  (UK, France, Spain, Malasia, Japan and Thailand amongst them) this game shows it not only appeals to it’s European “home” market but transcends language & culture to take this coveted award for this increasing popular form factor.

We only hope this heralds similar quality for 2012, we really could do with more games like this.

Congratulations Contre Jour!

- Richard “Rax” Burley
@Raxous

Game:

Sometimes the advent of a new technology grants us all the opportunity to enjoy anew a past favourite as it is reborn for the new platform.

Often this can prove disappointing, as the halcyon memories of yore shine more brightly than any slickly engineered tribute can today.

It is with this very much in mind that I approached Death Rally on my iPod Touch when I first discovered it on the App Store, but no warning voice of past experience was going to prevent me from jumping on this like a crazed driver with his foot to the floor.

You see Death Rally sits in the pantheon of my classic gaming nirvana (don’t you just love mixing a metaphor!) on a high pedestal alongside GTA 2 as simply the best fun to be had from an overhead perspective in a car.

Wait? Barry? Barry Wheeler? I'd better "Wake" up and contact "The Writer"...

If I thought you’d carry on reading I would pen an ode to the original Death Rally right now… but I’ll put that after the end of the piece!

So, onward and upward with my review.

Death Rally for the iOS is a fantastic example of how to make the best of a technology whilst still respecting a venerable IP. Not only does it feature a full rebuild using a superbly up-to-date graphics engine and fantastic look and feel all round, it also transports you back into the hot-seat of your Death Rally career.

Now, regardless of how fond of / obsessed with Death Rally you were the first time round, this review is about THIS game, not about the original (despite my strong desire to write an opus dedicated to it… ) so let’s crack on and have a good look at it.

Death Rally iOS, as I shall label it for clarity, is a superb top-down racer featuring numerous game modes, challenges, vehicles, weapons and upgrades.

Oh, I'm sorry! Did I accidentally rake you all with machine gun fire! Even tho it was Sunday! Apologies!

With myriad tracks and opponents, over multiple tiers, there is just so much to see and do. As is traditional you accumulate cash for racing well with which you can upgrade your vehicle or even buy a newer, faster car altogether. Where Death Rally differs slightly is in the first part of it’s name, as you also get considerable sums for finishing off as many opponents as possible. Indeed, should you manage to destroy all you’re opponents cars in any one race you will automatically win. An excellent and most enjoyable tactic, if a little unrealistic an aim in your first few races.

The game uses a random race generator which adds considerable variety and freshness to the game, you never know quite what your going to be doing, but you do always have a choice. Level of difficulty of each such race is clearly displayed and you will need to pay heed to this as the excellent multi-touch controls take a few races to fully master. Once you have the control system down you can content yourself with racing & obliterating for fun or you can start stepping it up and push your new found skills against increasingly tougher opponents. Beyond that there are always other players to race against, and that really does up the ante as you would expect. The multi-player is very slick and couldn’t be easier to get into as it’s experience is identical to the single player element, except for the even more ruthless and skilled opposition it introduces!

What's that behind me? Is it the sound of... YOUR CAR EXPLODING! Muhahaha!

This is currently one of my favourite games on my iPod Touch and I just don’t see that changing anytime soon. The good people at Remedy seem determined to continually add cool new stuff to the game and I continue to delight in enjoying it!

I would finally add that the price they offer all this at should be enough to shame most other developers / publishers to improving their offerings and / or lowering their pricing. Jolly well done Remedy!

Review Round-Up

Graphics – 5/5: Ridiculously good. Hard to see where they could be improved.

Sound – 4/5: Revs, explosions, tyre screeches and car horns. Spot on.

Gameplay – 4/5: Once the touch controls are mastered it’s destructive high octane fun all the way.

Longevity – 5/5: Constant updates, random race generation, huge variety and excellent multi-player tempt me to give it a 6!

Overall – 4 burnt-out opponents out of 5

Just buy it already and add me (Raxous, obviously) so I can have some fresh blood to… loose… epically… against!

- Richard “Rax” Burley
@Raxous

The Ode what I promised…
Oh Death Rally! How verily do I love thee?
So very, very muchly… for thou art pretty…
And bringest racing and destruction to me
So good that I must enjoy it constantly…
But wait! What’s this? You are now reborn?
With shiny paint and new car horn?
I rejoice and truly jubilate!
For you arrive never too late.
And so I play, and drive and crash
Happily parting with my cash
But now to win I must accelerate
And trust the tarmac with my fate!

Game: Contre Jour
Format: iPhone / iPad / iPod Touch
Developer: Mokus
Publisher: Chillingo

Have you ever sat down and pondered what might happen if World of Goo met Limbo?

What if they hit it off, found they had lots in common and discovered they enjoyed the same type of movies? Maybe they pop out for a spot of dinner and a gentle stroll down by the river, maybe share a taxi home? What about coffee? A nightcap? It’s late… the weather is terrible… it’s a long way home…

Oh! Good morning! And welcome to Contre Jour!

A gentle puzzler at heart, the rich design and world scape created by those crazy, arty, gaming gurus over at Mokus is a bewitching place to spend some time.

It's like some Goo decided to try Limboing...

Whilst there are points allocated to the amount of time taken to solve each puzzle this is a game best enjoyed slowly with a hot cup of coffee in a french cafe. Funky, beautiful and cleverly designed each puzzle is a joy to undertake and the touch interface again shows just how impressive the “i” series of devices are when it comes to delivering intuitive game control.

With very few faults, other than my usual desire to develop transparent fingers, there’s no reason for you not to add this gem to your mobile games library, that way you can fire it up if you need to look hip / cool gaming on your phone in sophisticated / arty company… nnnnnice!

Review Round-Up

Graphics – 5/5: It’s like Dali meets silent movies, except with sound… or something… Beautiful.

Sound – 4/5: Cute, gentle and French. Like Audrey Tautou in a film noir… or something… Beautiful.

Gameplay – 4/5: A nice easy learning curve progresses just as you’d expect, no surprises here, just enjoyment… or something… Beautiful.

Longevity – 4/5: Regardless of if you like your games short and sweet or long and steady Contre Jour makes you feel better about yourself when you play it. It’s moreish and light single-player fun, just what you want from a mobile game…

Overall 4 sparkly blue things out of 5

Contre Jour is as cool as it sounds like it should be. It’s French (OK, Hungarian, I think…), it’s hip, it’s fun. I’m sure it makes me cooler when I play it. Au revoir, je pars pour jouer un peu plus maintenant!

- Richard “Rax” Burley
@Raxous

Like Poker? Unhappy with the way the Poker dynamic plays out on social / mobile games? Welcome, I just may have a solution for you…

Poker Pals is an iDevice game, covering the Phone, Pad and Touch hardware, which takes a novel approach to delivering a strong poker themed social game.

Understanding, as Aspyr Media clearly do, that the traditional poker experience between friends, or indeed enemies, does not really carry across properly to our busy mobile world they’ve obviously sat down and thought about how it could be best delivered to the myriad “i” devices, how play style might be adapted to suit our asynchronous world, and also how to add something fresh to the mix.

The result of this intellectual labour is what turns out to be a perhaps suprisingly fresh experience, one both perfectly tailored to the “i” series of Apple devices and achieving true stylistically polished quality.

Everything about the game speaks to the quality one expects from the publishers of, amongst other games, Angry Birds and Cut The Rope.

The interface, the visuals, the graphics, the control scheme, the sound and the social aspects are all both fully featured and slickly implemented. With Game Center integration, social options and a string of in-game achievements everything around the core game experience is top draw.

But what of the game itself?

Well, I came in not expecting too much, maybe a very good poker game, but to my suprise I was suprised ( ) . Combining the best of the hugely popular “tile” based social game approach with a strong poker flavour delivers something for everyone, and what at first glance appears to be quite a simple poker style game soon shows it’s depth and complexity as the end game of each round can get seriously complicated as you balance your own point scoring needs against the cynical desire to deny your opponent, be they AI or human, any such success!

Both easy to pickup and play for fun and rewarding to those who want to really tactically squeeze the most out of each game, perhaps it’s master stroke is that the length of each game is absolutely perfect for your quick break / journey between tube stops / wait for bus whilst also being simple enough to enable you to maintain a couple of games live at a time between multiple chums, even if one or both of you needs to take an extended break from the game to, I don’t know, maybe attend a meeting or do some work? *Shudder*

Review Round-Up

Graphics – 4/5: All one could ever ask from both gameplay and interface. It’s poker meets Scrabble, and that’s exactly what it looks like!

Sound – 4/5: Nothing ground breaking, but then this is a poker social game! Melodious and inobtrusive.

Gameplay – 4/5: Other than the brutal AI (Seriously, don’t give up, you will master it!) the game plays well in single player, and does serve as an excellent preparation for the wiles of fellow human players, against whom the game really shines.

Longevity – 4/5: This entirely depends on who you can find to play it against you, but with a large number of achievements and a truly terrifing AI (at higher levels) there is certainly plenty to get out of the game.

Overall 4 of a kind out 5

With most people using their “i” devices to play either poker or a tile based word game of some sort this is everyone’s opportunity to get the best of both worlds!

- Richard “Rax” Burley
@Raxous

Erm, yes! Absolutely! And here’s why;

Gaming owes it’s global transcendence to the leading form of media / entertainment worldwide to many things. But have no doubt that Steve Jobs’ role in this rise is no small part.

A visionary, not just for hardware, software, music & media but for combining them all into mobile gaming...

When you combine his drive of the original personal computing revolution, his leadership at Pixar in the computer animation arena and his genius in pioneering the iPhone “uber-media-mobile”, (which today outsells Nintendo & Sony portables) you can see that he very much has shaped the gaming landscape by truly bringing gaming to the masses. When you look at mobile gaming today you are talking about Nintendo, Sony and Apple, (with Android leading “the rest”), and Apple’s rise and rise to be counted amongst these two gaming giants as an equal, in any form, is quite simply astounding considering the time it has had to do so. The company responsible for moving mobile gaming towards a touch based control method and doing so in such a tiny, pleasing, multi-functional and beautiful package that it was propelled from nowhere to industry leader in, what in industry terms is, little more than the blink of an eye.

Steve Jobs changed the mobile gaming industry, forever and for the better. Fact.

Apple & Gaming? Believe it! The iPhone is the world's "most accessible" mobile gaming platform...

But, today is a day to appreciate not just what he has done for you, but a little more about the man himself, to truly ponder the awesomeness of Steve, so, let’s take a moment to step back and learn about / remember the man behind the myth, the real Steve Jobs…

Steve Jobs was born in San Fransisco on February the 24th, 1955, to Joanne Carole Schieble, an American of Swiss and German descent, and Abdulfattah John Jandali, a Syrian Muslim immigrant. Under pressure from her parents, and fearing scandal, Ms Schieble had travelled to San Francisco to have the baby and give it up for adoption immediately to Paul & Clara Jobs, an Armenian couple. In addition to Patti his adopted sister, his biological parents had married and provided him with Mona, the biological sister he would not meet until he was 27, but of whom he would later say; “We’re family. She’s one of my best friends in the world.”

It was during his later school years that his interest in computing emerged, during which time he spent time working at Hewlett Packard (along-side future Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak), before working as a technician at Atari, the first great giant of computer gaming. Following success at the company he then founded Apple, in 1976, with Wozniak and Ronald Wayne but it wasn’t until 1984 that they had their first major success with the “Macintosh”, the first successful consumer computer with a graphical user interface.

"Think Different"? Never did anyone live more closely by their motto...

Following a period of industry hardship Steve & Apple parted ways, giving him the “space” to once again be “liberated” and allowing him to found “NeXT Computer” (1990) which developed workstations famed for their technical capability, including the first built in Ethernet port, and pioneering object-oriented development environment. He followed this almost immediately with the NeXTcube (also 1990) which featured the first successful “rich” messaging client; NeXTMail, which supported voice, image & video over email. The high cost of manufacture to meet Steve’s exacting standards eventually led NeXT to move complete away from hardware development and into software (1993) by 1996 things had come full circle as NeXT was acquired by Apple Inc, for $429 million, who used it’s WebObjects technology to power the Apple Store, MobileMe and the iTunes Store.

It was in this year, with proceeds from the sale, that Steve bought Pixar for $10 million from LucasArts. Initially a hardware company, Steve moved them into the computer animation space and through a partnership with Disney global success with their series of co-produced CGI family films. Following a less than smooth relationship with Disney Jobs negotiated the sale of Pixar to Disney in 2006 for a cool $7.4 billion. A return of $7.39 billion on his original investment!

Simultaneous with his work with Pixar he now re-took his position at the top of Apple, following it’s acquisition of NeXT, steering them through tough times and completely transforming both their direction and success during the “2000s” by championing the iPod, iTunes, iPhone and iPad, which catapulted Apple to become the most valuable company in the world briefly in 2011, perhaps the crowning achievement for an adopted boy who never let his passion and vision for technology as an agent of positive & life-enriching change dim in the face of the many, many challenges he faced in life…

Steve, you brought so many amazing things, thank you for helping us game in meetings!

Steve, we salute you, perhaps this age’s greatest innovator, but also never afraid to lead as a maverick, industrialist, polymath, visionary & businessman… Oh, and the dude who finally let us play proper games on our phones… finally!!

You will be missed… and we think more than anyone yet realises…

- Richard “Rax” Burley
@Raxous

As Apple have never released a product on a Sunday (and the 11th September is a Sunday) it wouldn’t tax the imagination too much to deduce that Apple are planning on releasing something – possibly the iPhone 5 – on 9th September. At least, that’s what our source is telling us anyway.

Personally we think that a September launch is way too soon. With less than a month to go, I guess we will find out sooner rather than later.

Handheld gaming as we once knew it, is now faltering. Without a single Nintendo 3DS title in the UK top 40 this week, it seems that things are only getting worse for Nintendo. What has halted their momentum so abruptly despite the house of Mario effectively dominating the handheld market not so long ago? I don’t think this is something even Ant and Dec’s cheesy mugs can solve.

It would seem their problems lie solely at the feet of Apple because although the Android operating system is becoming far more popular due to it’s accessibility and increasingly affordable games, the Android market seems more devoted to Apps other than games, picking up iOS games on the way.

Apple have formed one of the most bold and aggressive strategies the gaming industry has ever seen. Who could have envisioned a future where you can buy brand new, fully-fledged games for a paltry 59 pence? No, me neither.

This is very clearly a deliberate and cunning move on Apple’s part – designed to undercut their rivals and change the nature of portable gaming.  It is something to which Nintendo and Sony need to respond to, and quickly.

The fact that anyone who is willing to pay $99 to become a registered Apple Software Developer can submit these games means that quality can vary greatly.  However, it also ensures the App Store that provides for Apple’s iOS devices is expanding its wares at a breakneck speed. The ability of these apps to spread virally and reach a global audience within a matter of hours enables the best games can become very successful, very quickly; Angry Birds, anyone?  The pissed-off peckers have pulled in some seriously impressive numbers, an incredible 200 million downloads to be exact, which is phenomenal considering the simplicity of the game.

Those little birds sure have posted some staggering numbers.

How can Nintendo and Sony compete with the App Store’s mass market if they insist on continually developing high-standard software with good production values? Apparently the answer is that they  can’t, and certainly not with the kind of success they’ve enjoyed in the past.  “I think one of the biggest risks today in our industry are these inexpensive games that are candidly disposable from a consumer standpoint. I think they actually create a mentality for the consumer that a piece of gaming content should only be two dollars,” said Nintendo of America bruiser and president Reggie Fils-Aime. It is a risk, and it’s one that is changing the market Nintendo and Sony once ruled – a game changer, if you will.

It’s all well and good blaming Smartphones for the 3DS’s hiccups, but there is of course another factor: There is very little worth playing on it at the moment. There is a strong argument that the Nintendo 3DS was rushed out to market far too soon. We have Pilotwings; a glorified technology showcase, and some lacklustre 3rd party output – no killer app, and nothing that truly shows off the hardware, how very un-Nintendo. “Some people may be waiting, thinking that there aren’t yet enough software titles that they want to play,” laments Nintendo CEO Satoru Iwata, commenting on the 3DS’s disappointing initial sales.

How could Nintendo have become so disillusioned that they thought they could have sold 8 million units in a few weeks on the back of shiny new hardware appeal alone? And rather than trying to compete with Apple’s belligerent strategy, Nintendo are sticking firmly to their guns with the 30 pound price point for their games. Is a 30 quid game with a complex narrative and a high production value really going to improve your train journey more than the 59 pence game with its immediate and addictive gameplay? I’m not so sure.

Whilst Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D provides another excuse to play through Ocarina of Time again, it's not exactly the most suitable of handheld games, nor the cheapest.

I mean, why should you have to pay so much money for a game you might not play for more than a few minutes while out and about? I don’t understand why people would want to play a massive game with open ended gameplay, and branching narrative on the loo. Keep all of that in the bedroom, I say.

It appears to me that Smartphones represent the natural direction that portable gaming was always going to take. I’m playing devil’s advocate here, but shouldn’t portable gaming be a disposable thing? The quality in the App Store is inherently inconsistent compared with Nintendo and Sony’s output, but is that really such a deal breaker when you’re playing these titles for their intended purpose?

“They are not like gaming consoles, there’s no motivation for high-value video games,” rallies Iwata in regard to Smartphone games at this year’s Game Developers Conference held in San Francisco. Now, to me, this seems to be a sweeping generalization from a man who is seeing change beyond his control, trying to cling to a mantra that portable software with a high concept and a higher budget is the best way to go.

Rather than denouncing Smartphone games as ‘worthless’, I think Nintendo and Sony need to take notes of Apple’s strategy. Sony’s bite-sized ‘Minis’ selection on the Playstation Network Store is a good start, but still isn’t prominent or cheap enough to compete. The App Store has thousands of games to download, if Nintendo and Sony wish for a bigger piece of the pie,; then easier, cheaper and more accessible are going to have to become their religion if they wish to draw in a larger base of developers to create for them.

The Minis just aren't pushed enough to be able to compete

But there’s just one other problem for the people at Sony and Nintendo; Smartphones, as we all know, are magical devices that can pretty much do anything – from naming your first born, keeping tabs on the stock market, to ordering that kitchen sink you’ve always wanted. But perhaps most importantly these devices are fully functioning phones, meaning their success is born of necessity and not just of gimmicks. And now that Smartphones have become every bit as capable as dedicated gaming handhelds at powering videogames, you can now have it all in one device. Why lug around two different pieces of kit when all of your needs and wants are pretty much catered for on just the one?

Let’s face it, the App Store is digital distribution done right; it’s a service you can easily dip into, impulse buy a few games for next to nothing, and start playing them a few minutes later without any stress. In the case of Sony and Nintendo’s portables, so much thought and critic’s opinions have to go into your decision-making pot, if you’re planning on throwing down thirty big ones for a new game, unless you have more money than sense. Nintendo and Sony however, seem insistent on sticking to an antiquated buisness model for a market that, seemingly, no longer exists.

Sony’s ill-fated PSP Go tried a similar approach to Apple with a download-only business model. It just wasn’t smart for them to leave out the UMD disc slot, rendering PSP games owned by millions completely unusable. This might not have been so galling had there not been a mystifyingly bare and expensive collection of PSP games available for download. Apple have avoided this hubbub completely by making all content for their devices download-only from a clean slate, a very bold, and some would say “smart” move indeed.

The PSP GO joins the likes of the Virtual Boy and the Sega Activator in the list of biggest gaming hardware fails of all time.

All I can say is that the Nintendo 3DS and Sony’s upcoming Next Generation Portable-thingy faces some turbulent waters ahead. If they don’t place more emphasis on value and innovation, in an attempt to adapt to this new gaming landscape, they could both face becoming overshadowed by an avalanche of cheap Apps.

Now if only iPhones had buttons…

- Jason Borlase

Square Enix Ltd., the publisher of SQUARE ENIX® interactive entertainment products in Europe and other PAL territories, today announces the worldwide simultaneous release of FINAL FANTASY® III for the iPhone® and iPod® touch.  Available from today, the game can be downloaded from the Apple® Store priced €12.99/£9.49. In addition an iPad® version will be available for download in April 2011.

Originally released in 1990, FINAL FANTASY III was the first title in the series to become a million-seller. The full 3D remake released for the Nintendo DS in 2006 duplicated the original’s success, selling over a million copies worldwide – and now this classic RPG is available for the iPhone and iPod touch.

The iPhone/iPod touch version of FINAL FANTASY III features fully-remade 3D graphics, taking full advantage of the platform’s capabilities. Smooth, intuitive touch-panel controls – a product of Square Enix’s previous iPhone RPG experience – make the game easier to play than ever before.

FINAL FANTASY III was the first in the series to feature monster summons and a job-change system – and now players can enjoy this classic adventure all over again with the launch of the iPhone/iPod touch version.

About FINAL FANTASY III

When darkness falls and the land is robbed of light, four youths are chosen by the crystals to set forth on a journey to save the world…

Product Features:

• New and improved 3D visuals and story sequences exclusive to the iPhone/iPod touch
• Smooth, intuitive touch-panel control specifically tailored to Square Enix’s iPhone RPGs
• Quicker browsing through the monster bestiary and other game records
• New visual designs for the Job Mastery Cards
• Retina Display compatible

Product Overview:
Product name:    FINAL FANTASY III
Platform:    iPhone /iPod touch
Genre:        RPG   
Release date:    24th March 2011
SRP:        €12.99 / £9.49 each (available worldwide via App Store™)

“Hey Adam, why don’t you check out this game called ‘Cut the Rope”, it’s mega addictive. “

Obviously, being the stubborn sort of male, I presumed that i was immune to the raging affliction that was following this game around. A game that thrusts its gameplay on you and then ties you up in its charm net and refuse to let you go. A game can’t be like a cigarette was the final statement I made as the game slowly downloaded to my phone. However, I was wrong, and they don’t sell patches for this addiction.

A simple premise is the key ingredient to make a game addictive. In ‘Tetris‘, drop the blocks in the gaps; ‘Peggle‘, hit all the orange pages; ‘Cut the rope‘, you basically cut the rope.

Cutting the ‘featured rope’, causes the candy that is attached to it to fall, hopefully in the mouth of the protagonist, a cutesy alien character that can only live off candy. However feeding Johnson (peep show reference) is easier said than done as the small green sack manages to locate himself in 4 different boxes each with increasing difficulty. It’s like Princess peach all over again constantly being unable to stay un-kidnapped, get that woman a bell or something.

Game Engine

Battling with the physics of a piece of candy on a string is not enough for Chillingo as they throw a whole variety of obstacles at you. Obstacles such as spiders that climb down the rope to towards the candy with the ultimate intent to eat the candy and destroy your iPhone (it fell out of my hand and hit a wall) as it sends you back to the start. Or how about electrical wires that intermittently spark on and off, ready to destroy your precious cargo.

The control system is very simple and utlisises the iPhones’ multi touch technology enabling you to do multiple screen movements, which can be important when the screen starts to get busy with multiple ropes attaching themselves to your precious cargo. A slice through the rope with your finger will cut it, but a press on any of the custom objects, will cause it to ask differently. Touch an air cushion to cause a sharp gust of wind to breeze across the screen. The control system is very tight but when the levels start to get a tad hectic, then there can be conflict where you mean to cut by end up popping the bubble. A problem like this is forgivable though as it is not a regular occurrence.

Starry Eyed Surprise

Added to the mix are stars. These stars increase you score depending on how many of them you can get, so to max out your score, you have to collect them all. The collection of these stars increases the repetition values of each stage, honing in on those gamers who are achievement whores and it is not easy as the stars are located in hard to reach areas, which sometimes requires you to use all your physics know-how to collect.

Overall

This game deserves all the plaudits that it is currently getting, as it is puzzle perfection. It is a through-back to the days of Puzzle Bobble on how simplicity can reign supreme, especially in the current market where superior graphics are put ahead of the general gameplay in games. there are many exceptions to this, but as the iPhone keeps trying to prove that it is a serious gaming contender, graphics are sometimes being put first and the user is getting a pretty looking tampon. Good looking, but you throw it away after one use.

I can’t recommend this game any more, especially as it only costs 59p/99c.

-Adam Roche

The power to rip the stuffing out of cuddly bears is in your hands

Following the worldwide success of Naughty Bear for the home console systems, 505 Games and developer Artificial Mind and Movement (A2M) today announce the release of an Apple iPhone/iPod^® Touch game featuring everyone’s favourite omni-present and, let’s face it, omni-moody bear.

“In the last six months Naughty Bear has captured the imagination of a very wide fanbase and very quickly become an icon within the gaming world and a beacon for the disenfranchised and the disgruntled everywhere,” said Tim Woodley, Head of Global Brand Management, 505 Games. “With the launch of the iPhone version, Naughty Bear fans can finally, and quite literally, take matters into their own hands.”

The iPod/iPhone version features a new top down view

“We knew that Naughty Bear was perfect for on-the-go gaming and we have put a lot of time into refining the experience to reflect the new format, controls and objectives,” said David Osborne, creative director at Artificial Mind and Movement.

Naughty Bear for the iPhone delivers an all-new way to take control of the vengeful title role and once again wreak havoc on every stuffing-filled foe that crosses your path. With a unique control system tailored specifically for the iPhone and iPod Touch’s touchscreen inputs and a top-down viewpoint, the camera zooms in for up-close-and-not-so-personable signature kill moves which have become the trademark of our hapless bear.

One way of describing Naughty Bear is brutally cute

Following the already established formula of the console versions, the game features a vast array of weapons, objects and scare tactics for gamers to employ to maim, bash and slash their island cohabitants in the quest for ever-important Naughty Points, earned by exacting sweet revenge against any stuffed animal brave—or stupid—enough to cross Naughty’s path.

Naughty Bear is available now for Apple’s iPhone & iPod Touch through the App Store for £1.79 GBP.

Cast back your mind, dear reader, and you may remember a lovely little article I wrote about the fabulous game for the Nintendo DS: Ninjatown (if you can’t remember, or haven’t read it, read it here). However to summarise for you; I loved it.

So imagine my surprise and delight when it was announced that a brand new Ninjatown game was coming to the App Store for all the tech whores in the world to play on their shiny new iPhones, iPod Touches and…Urgh! iPads (*vomit*). Fortunately for me, tech whores… I am also one of you! Not even a second after the game was available to download, I had downloaded it myself.

Ninjatown: Trees of Doom, to give it the full title, is an addictive little platforming, endurance test of a game similar to that of Canabalt (review here) and even more so; Doodle Jump (two more excellent games available from the App Store). This time around however you are not jumping off skyscrapers, or from platform to platform. You are in fact jumping from tree to tree (not a huge difference I know), bouncing of branches to launch yourself ever higher in order to get to the top of The Trees of Dooooooooom! (spooky right?).

But of course things are never simple. As you navigate Wee Ninja between trees in a never-ending scramble to reach the top there are all sorts of hazards in your path. These range from evil, purple ooze that leaks out of the trees and is now flowing down their trunks, to sides of the trees that have been sanded down so that poor Wee Ninja cannot grip onto them, leaving him sliding to his death. Of course, what is a platform endurance game without flying enemies that also obstruct your path? Thankfully Trees of Doom has them too. But here lies my first gripe with the game.

Everything is out to get you as you make your way up to the top

With such a colourful, vast array of characters in the Ninjatown universe at their disposal, there just isn’t enough variety in the enemies that you have to overcome. The early enemies are almost exclusively the same flying enemies, admittedly I’m rubbish at these types of games, so perhaps more varied, harder enemies lie ahead. If that’s the case, it’s just bad level design.

Whilst Ninjatown: Trees of Doom lacks variety within its cast of enemies, its collection of power-ups is incredibly diverse. Of course, they all generally have the same effect; getting you further up the tree faster and without harm, but each power up is different, charming and smacks of fun.

Collecting a cape turns you into Super Ninja and sends you flying, Superman style, higher and higher. Or you could just always hitch a ride on Mucho Macho Moustachio, a giant floating mustache you can employ to float up higher, avoiding potential obstacles on your way. The power-ups really help try and distil the enjoyment and fun of the Ninjatown universe in Trees of Doom.

Super Ninja takes to the skies!

As you would expect, graphically the game contains all the cutesy charm of the Ninjatown series. In fact I’d probably go as far to say that it’s one of the best looking games you’ll find in the App Store. The vibrant, lush looking 2D graphics are the perfect match for the high resolution iPod Touch and iPhone screens and bring the world of Ninjatown to life. Couple that with oriental inspired music and some quirky little sounds and you have a recipe for a great little game.

What would a game from the App Store be without social networking interaction? Well don’t worry because Ninjatown Trees of Doom is jam packed with Facebook and Twitter integrated goodness! So now not only can you check where you are within the world rankings via the game’s leaderboard functionality, but you can also irritate and annoy all your friends by spamming their Twitter and Facebook feeds with your latest scores.

Warning: Playing Ninjatown Trees of Doom may lead to a loss of friends

So that’s it. That’s about all I can say about Ninjatown Trees of Doom. It’s a solid, beautiful looking vertical platformer, set in a vibrant, brilliant world. It’s just a shame that Pickle King didn’t try something a little more original.

Don’t get me wrong, Trees of Doom is a fun little game, but I just can’t help but feel like something more than a fairly run of the mill, vertical platformer could’ve been made. Perhaps a return to the tower defence play of the original Ninjatown? After all the fabulous tower defence game, Plants vs Zombies (review here), proves that tower defence games do work on the iPod Touch and iPhone platforms. But Trees of Doom will do for now: proper Ninjatown sequel next please

Review Round Up

Graphics: 5/5 – Brilliant, lush graphics. Some of the best on the format.

Sound: 5/5 – The nice, relaxing music is a perfect fit for the casual style of the game. However the oriental tinge helps tie it together within the world.

Gameplay: 3/5 – Whilst not totally original, still solid and fun.

Longevity: 3/5 – Like a lot of these types of games, you’ll either keep coming back for more or simply give up after a few tries. It would be nice to see some updates, perhaps with new levels, but I’d rather have a full blown Ninjatown sequel please.

Overall: 3.5 Wee Ninjas out of 5 – A solid and fun, beautiful looking game, but it’s also a type of game that is seemingly done to death.

[starreview tpl=16]

Rise Of The Resistance

People are lazy… Very lazy. But this laziness isn’t written into our genetic code or as a result of our upbringing; it is the consequence of our ever-growing intelligence and the utilization of that intellect to create more and more gadgets and gizmos. The sole purpose of these are to make our lives a whole lot lazier.

Take the iPod for example, or in fact anything that Apple has ever ejaculated from the “enlightened” mind of Steve Jobs. If I were a little more wealthy I could, and probably would, buy everything with an Apple on it… I’d buy some pink ladies as well; that’s my favorite variety of apple. Then I would hire some ladies wearing matching pink uniforms to eat them while I observe from a balcony.

It would however be hard to keep my attention focused on these “pink ladies” because I would be more interested in the tweets on my iPad and the download speed of the new Biffy Clyro album from iTunes.

Were these Steve Jobs' idea!? I'm not sure of anything anymore...

However, as a man I am skilled in the art of multitasking; a skill the opposite sex has yet to master, and with this skill I would be able to play my Xbox while maintaining Skype calls to the fellow members of the future resistance around the globe.

What I am trying to say is; society is constantly forming ways to keep us locked inside our houses. This will be the cradle of our destruction. For you see, while you sit at your chair sifting through the loose filaments of my mind, robotic engineers and scientists are constantly developing new technologies to advance our civilization, albeit with very little funding from the government.

I believe that eventually we will construct sentient robots, and if the all knowing teacher that is Hollywood has taught me anything, it’s that our greatest creation, upon realizing their superiority, will turn on us.

That, fellow humans, is the dawn of our downfall. Only the strong, the brave and the good will survive. Staying in groups of four won’t work this time though folks; this isn’t going to be a walk in a zombie filled park.

Molotov’s and vials of puke will most likely prove to be an ineffective weapon against the adamantium infused bodies of our synthetic adversaries. They will most certainly be equipped with more than two arms, and more armaments than you as well. In fact, it’s safe to say we’re pretty much fertilizer.

A vision of the future. But I'm pretty sure it'll be robots instead of zombies.

But don’t worry! Carry on with your life as you normally would. Just keep in mind that the games industry is producing a mass of educational source material secretly designed to subconsciously train the gamer to survive the war between man and machine.

Case in point: Mass Effect. This is Survival 101 people because it contains essential man-versus-machine training modules. It contains everything you’ll need to know, ranging from how to hack a robot sentient to how to use the biotic powers that we will inevitably gain as a result of future scientific research.

Ever seen Terminator 2? apart from being the greatest film ever made (FACT) it’s actually a premonition. It is going to happen people! I have seen it in my dreams and my dreams never lie.

Terminator 2 is the greatest movie of all time. Anyone who says otherwise will be the first to go.

I wouldn’t be surprised if my gospel compels you to go jump out of a window… the truth is harsh I know. But there are equally positive forces dedicated to making us more like J.C. Denton (25 gamer score if you know who J.C. Denton is) than ever before.

Soon we will be more metal than matter and we may even have a fighting chance, just make sure that when you go to the club this weekend you practice the robot dance. The droids made by Microsoft won’t be as smart or as deadly as the ones from Japan or Europe so you may even be able to trick them provided you can pop and or lock to a fairly decent standard.

But have you heard of a little arcade game called Darwinia+ by Introversion? This stylishly retro RTS’esque game is just another example of how games are doing their best to train you up for the inevitable robot uprising set to occur in 2012. It serves as great way to teach your children some basic warfare strategy. Get your kids practicing in the playground and gather up your sprites, because we will be fighting a lot of viruses… Viruses in our computers… Viruses in our bodies… Even viruses in our freaking kitchen appliances.

Throw away those Nintendo Wii's and buy your kids Darwinia+. The future depends on it!

Oh, and you know those quick time events that seem to be freakin’ everywhere since Sega made Shenmue? Well, the little improvements QTEs make to your reaction time are an essential part of your five a day: caffeine, sugar, alcohol, QTE and weapons training. Fruit and Vegetables will be in short supply after the Cybernetic Organisms carpet bomb every farm in England, so get used to life without them.

I am telling you this so that when the robot revolution begins nobody can say I was wrong. Crazy I may be, but wrong I be not. I implore you to go out into the streets and tell as many as you can, “play more games! Or you might soon be subject to severe stab wounds, laser burns and anal probing”.

Tell them ItsActuallyAdam sent you… then tell them to plug their anus.

Hey Steve,

It’s Tom, sorry iTom (I keep forgetting about the new employee naming convention), from the Apple design team here. With the media storm around the iPad it’s clear that now is the time to push forward with the plans for the rest of the product line. Massively increasing the size of the iPod Touch and selling it at a marked up price is a ‘touch’ of genius.

We’ve had some thoughts about future projects you might consider. Generally they are along the same vein as the iPad, and we can guarantee success with your now proven formula:

So for example, when applied to the new iPad you can see how this works:

In a time when electronics developers are fighting to create small and innovative new products, Apple are daring to be different; and we salute you for your vision. With the right marketing we can become the World leaders in rehashed-old-tech-made-larger. So without further ado, I give you the new range of Apple products code-named “The Big Apple”.

1. Mac Mini

Everyone loves the Mac Mini, but sales have been dwindling and it’s time for a revamp. I therefore give you the Mac Maxi, retailing at £1530.
Fig 1. Concept for Mac Maxi RRP: £1530

Applying your formula for the iPad has brought us this 66cm x 66cm x 8cm desk top beast. You’ll notice we’ve taken away over half of the USB ports from the old model; this is to fit in with the loss of features prerequisite for new ideas. If you think we need to lose more features, we could also get rid of that (entirely unnecessary) disk drive. I’m afraid the conventional port sizes (USB, Ethernet etc) have had to remain the same, but the box itself is four times as big. You can bet sales figures will be four times as big as well!

2. iPod Shuffle

This was a difficult one. The Shuffle had such little functionality to begin with it was difficult to see how we could ultimately make this a successful product, but then genius struck once again. With the new iPad Kafuffle, not only can you not select the songs you want to listen to, now you can’t listen to them either because we’ve taken away the headphones port.
Fig. 2. Concept for iPad Kafuffle with advertising slogan “BIG is the new big”. RRP: £180

And remember, engraving will cost four times as much as we increase the size of that too!

3. The MacBook Pro

This is the design we are most proud of. We’ve taken the puny 17” screen of the MacBook Pro and quadrupled it to give us the new 68” MacBook Pro XL. By reducing the processing speed and slashing the memory capacity, we’ve also been able to keep the weight down to equal that of the previous model whilst reducing the functionality, as per your formula.
Fig. 3. MacBook Pro and prototype for MacBook Pro XL. RRP: £5667

We think there is a huge, untapped, unthinking target market out there for these products, we’re so confident that you’ll like them that prototypes are already in production and should be ready by the time the iPad is launched.

Kind regards,

iTom
Lead Design Consultant
Apple Inc. UK

The Brothers in Arms franchise is a long running series of games for PC and home consoles that prides itself on the realism and strategy elements that differentiate it from other World War 2 shooters. Take the Xbox 360, PC, and PS3 title Brothers in Arms Hell’s Highway; the main story of the game took place during the real military battle Operation Market Garden. They even went as far as to accurately recreate the weather, right down to the temperature and level of sunlight. So it is of some interest that this title takes a more personal angle, telling a story that is not based on any real historical events.

Playing as Corporal Wilson, you receive a letter from your superiors saying that your brother, who died fighting in the war, has had his medal of valour removed from him. This leads Corporal Wilson to begin his own investigation into the events surrounding his death. Travelling across five separate locations, including the Pacific Front, Sicily and Europe, you fight your way through 13 levels in order to question the people that served with your brother.

The battles take place in a number of different locations

As far as the gameplay itself goes, there is a wide variety of things to do. Not only do you control the grunt on the ground level, but you take control of artillery cannons, drive Jeeps and tanks, use gun turrets, and fly a plane. For the most part the vehicle controls are solid, although on occasion the tank will get stuck on invisible objects and be unable to move for a small amount of time. For all the variety in the gameplay, you only spend a small fraction of your time in vehicles. The vast majority of gameplay is spent in the shoes of Corporal Wilson, staring down your iron sight, shooting at the Japanazi forces

You are able to take control of a number of vehicles at various points

When playing as Corporal Wilson the screen can often seem a little cluttered. As this is an iPod game which has no controller, the buttons that are required to control your character are transplanted onto the screen. There is an analogue stick for moving forwards, backwards, left and right, and buttons for firing, sprinting, going in to iron sight (a more precise aiming mode), and throwing grenades. While it is a little inelegant, I doubt that there would be a better way to implement the same controls. Turning is handled by touching the iPod screen, and while this works well for most situations (thanks to a handy auto lock on aiming system), attempting to turn 180 degrees can take a long time.

There are a number of weapons available including the flame thrower

The only real problem with the single player, aside from minor issues with the controls, is the voice acting. While I appreciate that every cut scene has voice acting, and every bit of dialogue in the game is spoken, the standard of voice acting is particularly bad. Emotionless dialogue aside, the rest of the game is impressive. Bright and expressive graphics on par with lower-end PS2 games compliment the expansive levels. Brothers In Arms’ trademark focus on distracting enemies and flanking is represented in the game, as well as more arcadey shooting.

Cover based shooting and flanking are key tactics

As well as the lengthy single player, Gameloft have included local and online multiplayer. With up to 5 other players, you can fight through standard deathmatch, team and deathmatch game modes. For the most part the multiplayer is impressive, although on occasion I found that people were favouring creating their own games and sitting idly waiting for people to join their game, rather than joining a game that had already been made. However, this is more of a problem with the users and not the game itself.

While aiming can be a little fiddly there is a handy auto aim feature

This game is also included in Gameloft’s new Gameloft Live achievement system. There are a total of 2,000 points to unlock by achieving certain goals such as blowing up 4 enemies at once with a grenade and killing X amount of enemies with machine gun turrets. Think of this as Microsoft’s Achievements or Sony’s Trophy system, but for new Gameloft titles. The only problem with this system is that it is not as easy to find friends to compare scores as it is with Microsoft or Sony’s system. In order to add people to your friends list you must visit Gameloft’s external website, which is a bit of a hassle.

Review Round Up:

Graphics: 4/5 I hate to use this expression, but, “for an iPod game” the graphics are quite impressive. Some of the character models are a little square, particularly around the heads, but overall the character designs are strong.

Sound: 1/5 While the music is suitably epic for the setting, and you can import your own music to play instead, the voice acting is utterly terrible. It is almost so bad that is transcends awfulness and instead enters the realm of the sublime. Almost, but not quite.

Gameplay: 3/5 There is a nice blend of gameplay styles, ranging from vehicular combat, arcadey shooting, and minor strategy elements. Having said that, some of the vehicle sections are a little glitchy, particularly the tank section. Unlike the console Brothers in Arms games, this does tend to hold you by the hand a lot and clearly show you exactly where you need to be in order to progress through the level.

Longevity: 3/5 The single player is made up of 13 missions, each of which takes between 10 and 15 minutes to complete on average, and has two possible endings to unlock. Multiplayer is present and decent enough, although at times some of the current users hinder the progress by refusing to join other people’s games – although you cannot really fault the game for that. Inclusion of Gameloft achievements could potentially increase the longevity of the title’s lifespan if you are inclined towards collecting achievements.

Overall: 3.5 Dead Brothers out of 5 Aside from a few quibbles – most notably awful voice acting, a crowded screen, and glitchy vehicle controls – this is a strong title with a lengthy single player mode and a decent multiplayer mode. For £4.99 on iTunes, you definitely get your money’s worth.