Game:

When reviewing a game, it is important that you’re not overly influenced by the opinions of others. In doing so, I try to avoid any other reviews or opinions on the game from other sources. However it has been nigh impossible to keep away from the sheer wave of negativity that has surrounded Duke Nukem Forever upon its release. Left, right and centre, critics have panned ‘the game that would never be released’, and whilst some of their biggest criticisms may be a little off the mark, it’s hard not to agree with the general consensus. Duke Nukem Forever is bad, in fact it’s VERY bad in places.The main problem lies in the that after 14 years of development hell, Duke Nukem Forever feels unfinished, which is odd thing to say in itself. Such an arduous development should’ve resulted an astronomical amount of polish (after all this is 14 years of work we’re talking about) but Duke Nukem Forever is far from polished.

Graphically the game is a total mish-mash. At first it’s a delight to see Duke brought to the modern generation of gaming. DNF goes some way to compete with the graphical prowess of games of today and, at times, looks quite impressive due to the incredible detail within the game world. Upon first glances the world of Duke Nukem has never looked better. That is until you try to look at the detailed with some depth and notice just how awful some of the texturing within the game is.

It's nice to see Duke kick some ass in full HD glory.

It’s not entirely clear if some of the textures have been used in an attempt to hark back to the early retro roots of the series, as somewhat of a homage, but needless to say some of the texturing looks EXTREMELY outdated. I wouldn’t be over exaggerating when I say that some of the texturing assets look as if they’ve been reused from Duke Nukem 64. It’s that bad, I literally spent minutes gasping in disbelief at the state of the textures on ammo boxes, posters and other in-game items branded with trademark ‘Duke-isms‘ (I know it’s not a proper word but you know what I mean, shut up!).

Even Duke’s most iconic, incredibly sharp and (at times) down right hilarious lines of dialogue (despite what some reviews say, they are hilarious), suffer from the same fate. Whilst DNF doesn’t take itself seriously at all, you’ve come to expect that from Duke Nukem games, it’s littered with toilet humor (you can quite literally throw around poop), and immaturity. This has been a sticking point with a number of gamers, however, I ask why shouldn’t it be? The character of Duke Nukem himself is built around such an image, portraying him in a different light would be nothing short of sacrilege. It’s almost refreshing to hear such memorable lines as “Hail to The King, baby” again. Every time Duke said one of his trademark lines I was taken back to the first time I played the original Duke Nukem 3D.

Nostalgic moments bring a genuine smile to your face,

As you would expect, DNF is also totally tongue in cheek; its self referential and completely self aware, culminating in some brilliant written dialogue, as well as a few intelligent, laugh out loud easter egg moments too (the nod to Valve in particular was a highlight). But there just doesn’t seem to be enough, because unfortunately apart from Duke’s trademark one liners, dialogue is scarce, allowing little room to develop a story.

Speaking of its story, it will come as no surprise that Duke Nukem Forever‘s story is fairly generic, much like your typical Duke Nukem story. Duke Nukem games have never had stories of epic, complex proportions, so the fact that DNF doesn’t have such a story either isn’t exactly shocking. The story is simple, the aliens are invading again, stealing all the world’s hot women, Duke must stop them. Simple, easy, yet nothing new.

Unfortunately this retro approach means that DNF hasn’t kept up with the times and adapted to gamers tastes, which echoes throughout. The lack of depth within its story has huge repercussions for other aspects of the game. As I said, dialogue (which is one of the games main selling points due to Duke’s hilarious wisecracks) is fairly limited, but it also means the game lacks excitement, turning the great return of Duke Nukem into a mindless, fairly average shooter, and after all the hype, we were expecting more.

DNF hasn't done enough to keep up with the times..

For all its faults, Duke Nukem Forever plays like a competent shooter. It takes a stripped down and back to basics approach, with no cover system, weapon attachments or RPG-like upgrades, it’s just down to you and your guns as you take the fight to the “alien b*stards”. There simply is no time for fancy gadgets or gameplay mechanics, you’re far too busy blowing off heads with a shotgun or lighting the place up with The Devestator. Such an attitude is bound to turn those that are accustomed to more modern day shooters off.

Only problem is that such gameplay really doesn’t work within a game that is totally linear, especially when you don’t have a particularly interesting story to back it up. Although it may play like a solid shooter, linearity within the gameplay and level design makes DNF‘s singleplayer campaign feel mindless and uninspired. Everything is totally straight forward, from point to point, leaving no room for the exploration which used to be a prominent feature in previous Duke Nukem games. After all, who didn’t love looking all around for secret areas littered around levels? Unfortunately, Duke Nukem Forever features none of this, which leads to an experience which is drab, unexciting and frankly quite dull.

In fairness Duke Nukem Forever does add some variety into the mix which in an attempt to stave off boredom. Vehicle sections make for a nice change of pace, and, surprisingly, control rather well (despite what you may have heard elsewhere). There’s something quite profoundly fun about running riot around a casino as a tiny Duke in remote control car.

The game’s physics based puzzles are also a new and interesting addition to the formula. In some sections players are required to use a bit of intelligence to solve gravity and weight based puzzles, which are a nice break from the laborious shooting. But even the puzzles can’t save the singleplayer from becoming a humdrum.

Much like its core gameplay, DNF also takes a retro approach to the way in which it controls. Control wise it feels loose and slightly inaccurate, even after adjusting sensitivity settings. The game is designed to feel less precise, in that “old school” shooter style of play. Accuracy is replaced by explosions, splash damage and tons of bullets which also gives the games multiplayer (which is a lot of fun), a retro, arena shooter feel.

As a multiplayer experience, it’s fast paced, frantic and over the top, which is refreshing in a genre dominated by serious, war shooters. It also continues the game’s retro tradition, delivering a multiplayer experience free of perks, loadouts, detailed customization and killstreaks. It’s just zany, crazy and its main focus is just to have a blast (pardon the pun). So long as you don’t go into it expecting a serious, simulating FPS, you’ll have an experience that is really enjoyable.

Maps provide memorable playgrounds of destruction, and the different modes to choose from, aren’t necessarily innovative but provide a lot of choice. Almost entirely overlooked, DNF’s multiplayer is one of the game’s highlights.

Duke Nukem Forever's multiplayer is overlooked, yet TONS of fun.

After 14 years of development purgatory, Duke Nuke Forever is the phoenix rising from the ashes, flying straight into the ceiling fan. It’s messy and after all the years and the hype, it wasn’t what the games industry wanted, it simply has not kept up with the times. However, with Gearbox at the helm, and the monkey of Duke Nukem Forever finally of their back, there is hope for Duke and his beloved franchise of games.

Duke Nukem Forever is out, but what comes next will be the true test of the series.

Review Round Up

Graphics 2/5 – Duke Nukem Forever is a graphical mish-mash. At times it’s great to see “The King” brought into the modern age of gaming graphics, but there’s no excuse for textures which look like they’ve been lifted straight from Duke Nukem 64.

Sound 4/5 - Brilliant, iconic soundtrack, as well as some hilarious bits of dialogue, there’s just not enough of it.

Gameplay 2/5 – Although DNF‘s multiplayer is fun, it’s biggest proponent, its singleplayer is incredibly uninspired, far too linear and, at times, plain dull.

Longevity 2/5 – The game series will live on, however this game likely will not. Whilst the multiplayer is fun, there’s no real incentive you keep coming back for more, and singleplayer is a true grind (and not in a good way). Even if you do end up finishing it, it’s doubtful that it’ll warrant a second playthrough.

Overall 2 out of 5

All in all, Duke Nukem Forever is out, which can be seen as an achievement in itself. However, all that development time has not produced the game it should be. DNF feels unfinished, unexciting and not what die hard fans deserved. All we can do is look to the future now, the monkey (so to speak) is off of Gearbox’s back, so lets see what they can REALLY do with the series.

-Kieran Roycroft

Here’s something I NEVER thought i’d say.. Hail to the king baby! Duke Nukem is coming back, bigger, badder and more brash than ever!

It’s been a day or two since I managed to get my hands on an early preview of Duke Nukem Forever and yet I still cannot believe that I have actually played it. Duke Nukem Forever, the game of legend, delays and bankruptcy is actually seeing the light of day – it’s enough to make my little, past-self wet himself in excitement.

Credit where credit is due, what Gearbox Software and 2K Games have done/are doing with DNF speaks volumes for the fan friendly, generous reputation they have garnered.  After all, what better fan service is there than to resurrect a game that you never thought you’d see released and treated with the same boyish enthusiasm that its original hardcore following had? It’s safe to say Duke Nukem Forever will be 2011′s gaming fairytale story.

After all these years, it really is a fairytale that Duke Nukem Forever is finally being released.

And believe me, Duke Nukem Forever is a true fan service, because although I’ve only played a brief preview of the full game, I know that DNF WILL deliver the authentic, Duke Nukem experience that has risen the series to cult status, and transformed its protagonist into one of the most iconic computer game characters of all time.

From the game’s vivid graphical style, to it’s hillarious audio and sound bytes, even down to the way the game actually feels and plays – everything feels quintessentially like Duke Nukem. Everything you know and love about the Duke Nukem franchise looks set to return.  The huge arsenal of over the top weaponry (including everybody’s favourite Shrink Ray and BFG..The Devastator), the voluptuous babes, right down to the Alien “bastards” who’s asses you will kick – they all return in absolutely glorious fashion.

Needless to say, the preview I played had a faint whiff of the “old school” about it. There was no hint at an epic story, simply Duke coming out of hiding to save the day, and the babes.  There were no emotionally engaging moments, no thought provoking sentiments – and rightly so.  Duke Nukem games have never been designed to do that, so why start now?

If your looking for thought provoking, emotional moments... look elsewhere.

However, the game’s “old school” vibe may divide critics and gamers alike. At a time when the First Person Shooter world is ruled by the likes of the Call of Duty and Battlefield series, combined with the time gap since the last Duke Nukem and this one, it’s almost certain that there will be no middle ground with Duke Nukem Forever. Hardcore fans of the series will love it, but there’s a chance that the game will be hit and miss with mainstream FPS fans.

That’s not to say Duke hasn’t kept up with the times, with the almost primitive nature of the earlier games, Duke Nukem Forever has had to modernise and add elements that you’ve never seen before in the Duke Nukem series. Aside from the obvious graphical changes, DNF adds new key ingredients to it’s gameplay. As demonstrated in the early access preview, players will have to use the game’s physics in sections to advance, there are sophisticated interactions with your surroundings (keeping those with a fetish for throwing poo happy), vehicle sections have been added with surprisingly good handling, and overall Duke Nukem Forever is a far more polished, slick and sophisticated beast.

Cynics would condemn vehicle sections within an FPS due to their horrible controls but Duke Nukem Forever's vehicle sections control surprisingly well.

After the 15 year long wait, I just hope that the actual full game fulfils its potential and doesn’t disappoint. The hands-on time I’ve had with the game look promising, but it’s going to be difficult to judge until I’ve got my hands on the full game.  My word to anybody who is worrying about Duke Nukem Forever being a flop is, you should’ve learnt by now to ALWAYS bet on Duke.

-Kieran Roycroft

Lavalampbamboo takes a look forward in time and has a crack at predicting the big headlines of this year.

DISCLAIMER: Any resemblance to actual headlines are entirely coincidental, but would also be entirely awesome.

Half Life 2: Episode 3 is finally released in July, and the reason for the delay is made clear: the game is exactly as long as the production time, with around 23,880 hours worth of gameplay. Notable sequences include constructing a supercollider using the gravity gun and waiting for an INCREDIBLY long lift. Critics are upset with the conclusion of the game… it turns out Gordon had dreamt the whole thing on the train ride into Black Mesa.

3D Realms reveals their 13 year long joke; DNF is released and is actually fantastic. Almost all games critics award it Game of the Year, even though it’s released in March. They state that there really isn’t any point in any more computer games being made. At this point, most other games studios are merged into 3D Realms.

Coming to a household near you!

Nintendo announces their latest add-on for the Wii, the WiiBux. The peripheral attaches to the side of the Wii Remote and allows consumers to swipe their credit card. This means they can now just give their money directly to Nintendo, thereby removing the need to go out and buy poor quality games. Satoru Iwata calls it “a new level of interface between customer and us”, whereas Reggie Fils-Aime simply got on a plane for Hawaii.

Project Natal is released in August, and receives fair to good reviews. The real problems arise when the red ring of death makes a return. However, it’s not in the tech itself, it’s in the people. It turns out an unstable element in the camera causes people’s eyes to change colour and overheat. Microsoft lose billions due to the cost of having to send packing crates to have the people affected fixed (or replaced with a similar model).

At E3 2010, lots of shock announcements are made, but the most shocking is Left 4 Dead 3… which is then released a month later. Left 4 Dead 4 is then announced shortly after… and released the following day. The sequel, surprising titled “Five Alive”, is released before even being announced. Finally, Left 4 Dead 6 is quantum released, because it hasn’t even been developed yet.

Followed by Seventh Heaven perhaps?

As opposed to making a zombie WW2 game (which would make sense) Treyarch make YET ANOTHER straightforward Second World War first person shooter, titled Call of Duty: The War Was Really Bad. As expected, it features a city level, a beach level, a parachuting level, a bit where you get captured by the Nazis and have to sneak away, and, surprisingly, a historically inaccurate bit where you fight Cyborg Hitler.

Zombies? Of course not?

Toward the end of the year, Activision announces a new instalment into its “Hero” franchise, the long awaited “X Factor Hero”. The game only comes with a microphone, and actually rewards the player in earlier rounds for singing like an idiot, just to look “hilarious” on television. In later rounds, the choice of songs is taken away, with the player being forced to perform songs they really don’t like. Rumours of a rival “Rage Against The Machine: Rock Band” are unconfirmed.